


Ohana

by buckyscrystalqueen



Series: Ohana [1]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-05
Updated: 2018-12-05
Packaged: 2019-09-12 08:49:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16869874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buckyscrystalqueen/pseuds/buckyscrystalqueen





	1. Chapter 1

Running used to be your strong suit. It was how you started your day every single day for nearly fifteen years… until it wasn’t anymore. Now, running what your biggest nightmare. It literally meant life or death and each day, each step brought you closer to death. Your gait had changed drastically multiple times in the past five years and it wasn’t necessarily for the better anymore. But what could you do when your physically therapist was now a deadie?

You scrambled as fast as you could up a tree, essentially dragging your heavy prosthetic right leg along, trying to free it from the grasp of the small group of the dead that had caught up to you a lot faster than you liked. You normally could out run them easily on your old prosthetic but it had broken six months before, leaving you stuck with one that pinched and rubbed making it harder to escape. Trees had become your best friend recently to survive. 

The make shift strap you had around your waist to keep your poorly fitting prosthetic on dug painfully into your skin as you tried to kick your right stump back and forth to dislodge the deadie that had your jeans in his mouth and the other that had the metal ankle in his disgusting fist. Your upper arms started to burn from holding yourself up and keeping your left leg and your stump out of the grasp of the monsters below. You were silently cursing your Harley for running out of gas when the sound of gunshots filled the air. You didn’t realize the deadie had pulled your prosthetic as far down as it had until it had snapped back into place, causing you to scream out in pain.

“Were you bit?” A man shouted as the gun fire subsided. You swallowed back your tears as you pulled yourself up to the branch you had been trying to get to. “Were you fucking bit?!” Your eyes whipped up at him as you angrily ripped at the strap around your waist.

“Look for yourself, asshole. Thanks for your concern.” You snapped as you grabbed your prosthetic and chucked it at the group of men that were standing by the road. The man that had been shouting up at you sprung into action.

“Simon, get that fucking truck over here. Let’s get her down.” You angrily tried to protest and climb up the tree higher to get away from this stranger but before you knew it, he grabbed ahold of your bite mark covered jeans leg. He wound the material tight in his fist and yanked, forcing you to let go or lose your pants. Like a cocky knight in shining armor, he caught you bridal style and smiled down at you. “See, was that so fuckin’ hard now?” He asked, causing you to pout in his arms.

“I don’t know who you are but I hate you already… put me down!” You started thrashing your legs as he stepped down off the hood of the truck. “And give me back my damn leg!” You felt the man chuckle as he shook his head at you.

“No can do, sweetheart. I’m here to help you and help you I fuckin’ will.” Anger boiled in your blood and you made probably one of your stupider choices to date. Without thinking of the consequences, you hauled back and head butted the man as hard as you could. He instantly dropped you with a shout and before you could roll over to army crawl away, you got kicked hard in the side of the head, effectively knocking you out.

——

You came too with a scowl on your face. You could hear the man’s smug voice somewhere close to you, complaining about the broken nose you had given him. You mentally smiled as you tried to assess your surroundings subtly without the asshole realizing you were awake. You knew your short stump had been exposed as you could feel a gentle breeze on what you could feel of your upper right thigh. You had to be in some kind of vehicle because your body was rocking back and forth subtly and thanks to your hands being tied behind your back, you couldn’t brace yourself. You shifted your hands a quarter of an inch to reach for the knife you stored in the small of your back but realized that that had been stripped from you when you were knocked out.

“Boss.” Someone said from behind you, probably noticing that you had moved your hands. Your scowl deepened as someone reached out and ripped a blindfold you didn’t realize you had on, off.

“So, ya had to go and get fucking smart, didn’t you?” The man who pulled you from the tree snapped as he looked down at you from the passenger seat of a truck.

“Go to hell.” The man chuckled and shook his head.

“Oh no. I wanna know how a bitch with one leg made it this far in the New World.” You couldn’t help put roll your eyes as you tried to roll onto your back to get your hands untied. The man quickly reached out and grabbed your shoulder as someone else put their foot on your right hip to keep you still. “Nope. Tough little bitch like you is bound to have fuckin’ tricks up your sleeves. So you’re gunna stay right where my boys can see your hands…”

“Fuck you!” You screamed as you tried to kick the man in the passenger seat only to realize he had your leg and your stump tied together just above where your leg was amputated. You let out a growled roar and thrashed against the bindings, which made the man laugh.

“Sorry sweetheart. I don’t fuck crazy.” You glared up at him and spit a wad of saliva into his face, causing his smile to drop. “Why you little…”

“Negan!” The driver said a little loudly as the passenger turned in his chair to punch you in the face.

“What?!” Negan shouted as he looked up at the driver. Simon pointed out the front window, causing Negan to look away from you at whatever was in the road. As quickly as you could, you head butted the shins of the man that was behind your shoulders, rolled onto your back under the foot of the other man and sat up to look at your Harley in the middle of the road where you had been forced to leave it the day before. You were grateful to see that your other prosthetic, that was banged up and needed a serious repair was still bungee corded to the side but your side car of clothes and supplies, which had been too much for you to tote along on foot, was long gone meaning one of two things… and you prayed it was a positive thing in this situation.

“You drive a Harley? With one leg?” Negan asked incredulously as you managed to get your stump free from the ropes around your legs.

“Yep. Wanna see?” He barely had enough time to turn around to look at you as you got your hands free and got a hold of one of the guys knives from the backseat. With trained and practiced ease, you slit his throat, wiggled out of the back seat and got out of the car as fast as you could. As you desperately hopped along the truck, you cursed God for taking your leg but thanked him in the same breath for the driver stopping almost against your bike. At the same moment you heard shouts behind you, you grabbed the small revolver that was hidden in the pocket of your prosthetic. With cat like reflexes, you whipped around and pulled down the hammer at the same moment Negan pointed his own gun at you.

“Leave. Me. Alone.” You growled as you held onto the handle bar of your bike for balance. “Just leave me alone.” Negan shook his head as the driver told his men to stand down.

“I can’t fucking do that. You’ve survived out here… with one fucking leg… and I need someone with that kinda talent on my side. I’m offering you Sanctuary for a price of course. But it would be small price to pay to have someone with your obvious skill set on my six.”

“No.” You stated simply as you turned the key on your bike and looked for the starter button blindly. Negan lurched forward, yanked the key out of the ignition, and ducked your punch a mere second before it collided with the side of his head.

“No is not a fucking option here!”

“Just leave me the fuck alone!” You screamed as you scrambled to grab your bike so you didn’t fall over from throwing your punch. Negan lurched forward and grabbed you, only to receive your wild fists pounding into his back and sides as thanks.

“Alright! ALRIGHT!” He roared as he sat you down on your bike and yanked the gun from your hand. You tried to stand up again only to come to a quick stop when your gun was traded in his hand for a baseball bat that was covered in bloody barbed wire. “Now you listen and you fucking listen good.” He roared as he kept you on your bike with the bat only an inch from your face. “You are done being by yourself. In this world, you need help and that’s what I’m giving you. And you’re gunna fucking take that help and you’re gunna quit fucking fightin’ it!”

“No…” You said weakly as you shook your head and tried to fight away your tears knowing that there was so much more at stake here than he could ever understand.

“Yes.” Negan said again. “Now, are you fucking coming willingly or am I picking your fucking ass up?” A single tear fell down your cheek and you slowly shook your head as you looked at the woods to your right. 

“Come here, B.” You called out as your eyes raised into the trees. You missed heads whip in that direction as the leaves on one of the higher branches shifted. You watched the path of the person descending through the trees until a tiny five year old, brown haired, brown eyed little girl jumped from the lower branches to the ground with a bow and arrows in her hand. Your ‘daughter’, Brenna, crouched down behind a bush and drew back the arrow like you had taught her when she was only three years old.

“It’s OK.” You said softly as you nodded at her. You looked back up at Negan and shook your head as Brenna came to your side cautiously. “One leg or not, I had to survive. I didn’t have another choice… and I couldn’t let you take me away from her.”

“Mother fucker.” Negan muttered as he watched Brenna and her arrow, which was currently pointed at Simon’s forehead. “We have Sanctuary for both of you.” You nodded as you pushed Brenna’s bow down so she would stand down.

“If you have a little gas we can follow you… and if you keep her safe, I’ll watch your six.” Negan nodded as he signaled toward one of the men from his crew. 

“You fuckin’ stay in line behind my truck. We’re only a couple hours out…”

“She needs her leg, ass hole.” Brenna snapped. You rolled your eyes and pushed her gently toward the woods she came from as Negan yelled for someone to get your prosthetic.

“Get the cart, Brenna.” She nodded at you once and passed you her bow and arrow to go and grab the side car you had rigged to fit your bike to carry a child and some weapons and supplies.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“You’re gunna be in here.” Negan said as he pushed open a door and gestured inside. “We have a fuckin’ school day care of sorts here. Once we figure out just what the fuck you’re capable of, you’ll be given a job to work for…”

“I was a doctor in the Army for three years.” You said angrily as you limped past Negan and into the room with a trash bag of the belongings you were ‘allowed’ to keep in one hand and your cane and your broken prosthetic in the other. “I also finished with my residency at Atlanta General six or seven months before shit went to hell. Anything else you wanna know or can I get my daughter settled in?” You dropped your bag on the bed and turned around to look at him with your eyebrow raised. He looked stunned as he studied you, trying to figure out your mood swing until Brenna shoved past him, shaking him from his daze.

“Wait, you were a fucking doctor?”

“Do you want that answer in a language other than English this time? I know four others. Arabic, Spanish, Farsi, and Persian. Take your pick.”

“Wow. You really are a piece of fucking work.” You barely glanced over at him as you started helping Brenna unpack your bag.

“I just need a day to get settled and I’ll join your guard duty or whatever. Brenna, I need you to do this…”

“I got it.” You looked over at Negan as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. You instinctively stuck your cane out between him and Brenna and moved to stand in front of him.

“We have it.” You said evenly as you searched his brown eyes. “I don’t know who you are. First you help me, then you tie me up and basically try to kidnap me. I fight back, you nearly kill me until I agree to come to this safe haven of yours. I’m assuming that our being here isn’t a choice, per say but I was running out of options on what I was gunna do about my leg anyways so it’s a Godsend we’re here. But don’t come in here and think that you’re a knight and shining armor. You are not a prince charming here. If any thing, you're a prison warden. Now, can you leave so I can unpack before hunting down a screw driver.” You didn’t know Negan well enough to know whether you had stunned him to silence or if he was so pissed off at you he couldn’t find the words to speak but if looks could kill, you’d be a deadie.

“I’ll have someone come up to bring you down to the fucking shop while I figure out what to fucking do with you.” He barked as he stormed out of your room and slammed the door behind him. You rolled your eyes and looked over at Brenna, who was trying to hide her smile behind the Stitch stuffed animal that was her best friend.

“He said a really bad word.”

“Brenna, just… get your butt moving. We can’t live out of a trash bag forever.” It took all of twenty minutes to unpack the clothes and the few toys that you had some how managed to keep in your possession since the start. But that was all you had been allowed to keep. Your bow, your guns, even your knives had been confiscated upon arrival as well as the little food you had left. All of it was gone but you couldn’t think about that now. You needed to worry about doing whatever you needed to keep Brenna safe.

——

“So this is where you go to eat.” A blonde haired woman with a tattoo on her neck named Laura said as she walked you and Brenna through the compound. “If you need anything at all, you come here.”

“Like cookies?” Brenna chimed in as she walked next to you, holding your broken prosthetic limb with both her arms with her Stitch doll on riding on top. Laura laughed as she turned and looked at your daughter.

“We even have ice cream some times.” You heard her say a soft ‘yes’ as you followed your tour guide around the corner. “Now, as the new doc here…”

“I’m sorry, what?” You came to a dead stop and your jaw dropped as Laura barely glanced back at you.

“Hope you remember your shit, doc. ‘cause you’re it. You comin’ to get this leg thing fixed or what?” It took your daughter saying ‘mommy’ and pulling on your shirt to get you moving again. “Now, most of the people in here work for points but as the new doc, you’re one of us. So you get whatever, when ever. Same with Lilo over there.” Brenna giggled at her nickname as Laura opened the door that you assumed lead to the mechanic shop. Laura didn’t say another word until she pushed open the door to a shed and looked back at you. “Someone’ll come back in an hour to get you for lunch and then take you up to the clinic. We got a whole list of people that need to see you.” 

——

“What did this man work in the stone age?” You grumbled as you pushed yourself around the room that was designated as the clinic on a rolling chair. You paused in front of a white cabinet that held most of the bandages, gloves, and other basic necessities along with three ring binders with patients notes basically thrown together in no particular order. You rolled your eyes as you grabbed the first one and rolled back over to the exam table.

“Well let’s see what we can do, huh?” You asked your sleeping daughter as you set the binder on the bottom of the bed and flipped it open. You glanced at the first page, which was a sloppy note on how Dr. Carson had administered two mL of Pepto (at least you hoped that read Pepto and not pesto) to someone that either went by DJ or possibly PJ (was that a G?). You sighed again as you flipped the page to come across another note for ‘Norris’ or maybe ‘Morris’ that was written on an actual napkin.

“Oh, come on!”

“Having fun?” You glanced back at Negan and sighed as you picked up the napkin and held it out to him.

“What is this?” You asked as you waved the paper in front of him. “The fuck is this?” He shrugged as he took a step into the room and took the napkin from you. You watched his brow furrow as you looked at the next page that was thankfully written on a piece of notebook paper in the same shitty handwriting. “You’re on solar power, correct?” He glanced up at you and nodded as you took the napkin back from him. With a single nod, you closed the binder and scooted back over to the counter by the sink and grabbed your map.

“Alright. Where are we exactly?” You asked as you spread the map out on the bottom of the exam table.

“Um… We’re right about here.” You nodded as you pulled a pen from your bun, letting your long hair fall in messy waves down your back, and put a little dot on the spot he had pointed to.

“Alright so I know that there are doctors offices and walk-in clinics here, here, here, here, here, here, and here. I know this one and this one both have deadies in them but the windows were still intact so they’ll have what I need. I can grab a tablet or two and get some sort of organization going on here instead of this napkin bullshit. Over here is a prosthetics office which is where I was headed when you picked me up and they’ll have some stuff…”

“Wait, hold the fuck on…” You paused your little rant and looked up at him with your eyebrow raised. “Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

“Well I believe I’m talking to the man in charge that is suppose to be helping his people and keeping them safe by any means necessary. You need medications, your supplies are running dangerously low, and any kind of major injury will be untreatable in this place at the moment. So, can I continue with my plan of rectifying that situation?” Once again, Negan looked at you with either sheer rage or shock and you turned back to your map. “Now, this place right here is a private hospital that was treating cancer patients right before the turn. It’s going to be a freaking gold mine of oxygen tanks, pain killers, saline, gauze; you name it, they’ll probably have it. This… this is the place to take if it hasn’t been touched since the last time I checked it out.” You glanced back up at him as you poked at the map with your pen. “But we need to leave in the morning…”

“You won’t be fuckin’ going.” Negan said as he reached for your map. You quickly ripped it out of his reach and pushed yourself a couple feet away from him with a shake of your head.

“Try again. I know what I need, you don’t. I found these places myself, not you. I’m the doctor, not you. I’ll be going with you or you can forget about my map and your people will just start dying. You may scare your people but what I saw in the war was ten times scarier than anything you got for me. Now, you said there was a school for Brenna so I don’t have to bring her back out there?”

“Be out front and ready at six. I’ll send Frankie up to your room to watch Brenna.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy, don’t go!” Brenna cried as you pulled on your protective sleeve for your mangled prosthetic. “Just stay here.”

“B, I have to go. Mommy has to help these people and you’re gunna stay here with Miss Frankie. She promised me she would watch Lilo with you…”

“But I don’t wanna watch with her!” Brenna cried as you pulled on your limb and stood up. With a sigh, you turned around and gave Brenna a kiss on the cheek.

“Brenna, I need you to be strong for me today. Just like outside. Be strong for me and I’ll let me help fix boo-boo’s tomorrow.” You walked over to the TV that was in your room, put in the VHS you had of Lilo and Stitch, and sent out a silent prayer that it would keep her quiet for the day. With a small smile to Frankie, who was standing by your door in a short, black dress and heels which seemed so ridiculous to you, you hit play and walked over to her. “It’ll be annoying as fuck because she’ll want to keep watching it but it’ll keep her out of trouble. When it’s done, just rewind and start it again. Try to get her to use the bathroom between movies because sometimes she forgets. And she has to drink one full cup of water every two movies. Other than that, she’ll tell you when she’s hungry and no, ice cream is not a meal.” Frankie nodded at you, looking entirely out of her element, as you grabbed your jacket off the edge of the bed and walked out before Brenna could realize you had left. 

With a shake of your head, you followed the path that you hoped lead to the front of the building. It took only two tries before you found the door that lead to the ‘front’ of the building but if it hadn’t been for the group of men and women standing by a few trucks, you wouldn’t have known it was. With a sigh, which you felt like you had been doing a lot in the past twenty-four hours, you limped slightly awkwardly down the stairs.

“You must be (Y/N).” A man said as he came over to you. You nodded and looked up once your right foot was placed firmly on the concrete to look at the scared face of the man in front of you. “I’m Dwight. You’re gunna be riding with me.”

“I’m not riding in that.” You said as he pointed at one of the trucks. “I don’t do closed cars. I’ll take my bike.” Dwight shook his head at you.

“That’s not an option. We all ride in…”

“Well I’m not all of you.” You interrupted. Dwight looked like a mix of scared and impressed for a moment before he suddenly dropped to his knee in front of you. “What the…”

“Kneel!” Dwight hissed as he looked down at the ground. Your brow raised in confusion as you pointed to your exposed leg.

“I can’t kneel! I don’t have a damn knee.”

“Well then I suggest you simply shut up and bow your head.” A deep voice said directly in your ear. You whipped around to look at Negan’s dark eyes as he waved his finger in a ‘come here’ motion. Your eyes rolled dramatically as he turned on his heels and strolled away from the group of men. You followed after him and nearly ran into his back as he came to an abrupt halt a few yards away.

“Here’s the fuckin’ deal.” He hissed as he pointed his finger at you. “You fucking work for me. You do as you’re fucking told and you show me some Goddamn respect, you hear me?” You took a deep breath and sighed in response as you gestured to the trucks behind you.

“I can’t do trucks, bad PTSD from losing my leg. Can I take my bike, sir.” You seethed as you glared at him.

“One time and one fucking time only.” He said as he called someone over with his finger. “You prove yourself worth my time, I’ll let you lead your own fucking med runs in the future.” You nodded your head as Simon stepped up to your side and handed you your duffle bag of weapons that had been collected the day before. You heard Simon ask Negan if he trusted you under his breath as you grabbed your knife, your hand gun and your bow and quiver of arrows but missed Negan shaking his head.

“Not as far as I could fucking throw her. Regina, you’re taking point on a bike!” You glanced over at Negan as you put your gun in the back of your jeans and turned toward a tall woman with short brown hair that was shaved on the sides. You took it upon yourself to follow her as you put your quiver strap and bow over your head to rest across your chest as you spun your knife in your fingers. You were grateful to see your bike, essentially untouched at the end of a line of motorcycles and you walked over to the right side to get on.

“Just keep up.” Regina said as she got on the bike next to you with a scowl on her face. You smirked back at her as you kicked up the kickstand, pulled your right leg up and set it on the peg.

“Don’t worry. I will.” The two bikes roared to life and you quickly put your knife in the holder near the gas tank. You were startled to see that the gas gauge read full. With a shake of your head, you and Regina both dropped your bikes into first simultaneously and took off toward the open fence. Once you hit the main road, your trip became almost mechanical. Right hand turn on Whittaker, left on Forest Run. Three miles down to make another left on Canyon Creek at the Dairy Queen that you went to twice a week back then. Another mile down to make a right into the hospital parking lot. 

Your stomach turned at the sight of the black, beat up Dodge Ram that was parked in the forth parking spot from the entrance just like it was every Monday and Thursday before the fall. Your (Y/E/C) eyes stayed trained on it for a moment before you made yourself to look away as you pulled to a stop by the front door. You forced yourself to keep a straight face as you looked through the glass doors, waiting for the one face you couldn’t bare to bring yourself to look at but knew you needed to face.

“Who was it?” Regina asked as she watched you, watching the door. You barely glanced over at her as the caravan of trucks pulled into the parking lot behind you and you shook your head.

“Doesn’t matter.” She opened her mouth to say something else but you got off your bike and walked away. As the first deadie made their way to the door, one of the nurses you thought was named John, you took a deep breath and pulled your bow off your shoulder.

“She knows someone in there.” Regina said to someone as you looked around John for the pink cotton dress you knew was somewhere in the building. When she finally appeared, you pulled an arrow from your pack.

“There’s about twenty deadies in here total.” You said as you pulled back and waited for your big sister, Sarah to get closer to you. Tears welled in your eyes for only a moment as she threw herself against the glass door. “I’m sorry, sissy.” You whispered as you let the arrow go. Angry shouts filled the air around you at your action as you watched your sister fall in slow motion to the ground. 

You only hesitated for a moment before springing into action as your dead brother-in-law, Mike, stumbled over Sarah to get to you. Arrows flew at rapid speed as you took out deadie after deadie, going at twice the speed of Negan and his baseball bat, Regina and her knife, and Dwight and his crossbow combined. You felt obligated to let these people out of their misery; people that you knew on a first name basis, who you talked to and considered family before the fall. You could have done it a year before but you didn’t want Brenna to see her real mother like that. As the final body fell at the hands of your arrows, you fell into the wall and let out a strangled cry. The Saviors were too stunned to even move as you forced yourself upright.

“Drugs are back here.” You said as you shouldered your bow and bent down to grab your arrow from an ex cancer patients forehead. “Room 27 down this hall is all their medical supplies and the oxygen tanks are in the room marked with a no smoking sign. Grab everything.”

“What the fuck was that?” Negan demanded as you turned into the chemo room to start emptying the nurses cart and the cabinets in there.

“I don’t wanna talk about it.” You grumbled as you pulled open the first cabinet that was stocked full of Gatorade and bottled water. You pointed up at them and looked back at Negan who was giving you what you decided was going to be ‘your look’. “There’s gunna be a lot of this shit in here…”

“Do you know how fucking bad you are making me fucking look right fucking now?” He demanded as he closed the door to the room you were in. “You can’t just go fucking rogue like that. I can’t fucking have it.”

“Look, that was my sister… Brenna’s real mom.” You said as you looked over at him. “And she was just a baby when shit fell so she had no idea who she was. I needed to be the one to put her down but I couldn’t do it alone with Brenna with me. I couldn’t do it. I knew every single deadie we just put down. Every single one. I needed to be the one to take out Sarah and Mike but I couldn’t let your guys do it first. I didn’t think your ego would stop long enough to hear me out.”

“Who the fuck…” He shouted as you pulled open the next cabinet to reveal cookies and granola bars.

“I’m just a little sister that needed to take out her big sister.” You said as you looked back over at him. “You don’t wanna take me on runs anymore, that’s fine. I did what I needed to. Punish me however you need just promise me that you’ll keep taking care of Brenna.” Your tear filled eyes searched his for a moment before you looked away. “This room will have more stuff like this and that cart over there will have the meds we need. I’ll find the nurse with the keys if we can bring that back. It’ll come in handy. I’ll get into the med room, too for the rest. I know the code.” Without another word, you stepped around him with your head down and left the room to get what you needed to before you were banished to the compound for your actions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m takin’ real good care of her.” You said softly as you awkwardly kneeled beside Sarah’s corpse. “She looks so much like you. And she’s so independent it’s unreal.” You smiled at your sister as you grabbed her left hand and pulled her rings off her thin fingers and her bracelets off her arms. “You’d be so proud of how strong she is, sissy. She’s a little beast.” You put her jewelry into your pocket and reached up to take off her necklace; the same one you wore around your own neck, to give to Brenna one day. “I’m doing good by her just like I promised you I would.”

“Hey.” You looked up at Dwight, who was giving you a somber look as he held out his hand to help you up. “Negan had a couple of the guys dig a grave for her.” You nodded at him and let him help you to your feet.

“H-him, too.” You said as you took a step over to grab Mike’s watch and wedding ring and his truck keys from his pocket. “They can be buried together.” Dwight nodded at you and signaled for a couple of the crew to come over and help you out as the rest of the guys loaded up the massive haul of medical supplies and food. You went over and helped the guys lift your sister and a few tears slipped from your eyes as you headed to the grave on the side of the building. As you lowered Sarah into the grave, you missed the confused look from Negan; who was battling his own demons in his head.

“I’ll do right by both of you.” You said quietly as Mike was laid to rest beside Sarah. “I promise.” You took one last look at your family before forcing yourself to turn and walk away toward Mike’s truck. You were slightly surprised to find it unlocked and even more surprised to see that it started on the first try. You killed the engine and flipped down the visor; thanking God that Mike still had the family photo from the hospital when Brenna was born.

“Does it have gas?” Negan asked as he appeared in the door, causing you to jump. You nodded as you put the photo in your bra.

“Full tank. Mike kept a shot gun in the tool box as well. He’s got a bunch of tools back there and if I know my brother-in-law, there’s an extra gas can or two under the tarp back there because my sister was known to run her car to empty.” You forced yourself not to look in the back seat, knowing that Brenna’s baby car seat and the baby toys she never got to enjoy were sitting back there as you handed Negan the keys and got out of the cab. “Take it. I donate the toys to the kids back home. The next place is a couple miles away. I need a few things from there but I’ll let your guys clear it this time.” 

——

“Do you have anyone that needs prosthetics?” You asked Negan as you walked through the building where you had gotten your prosthetic years before.

“We’ve got a guy missin’ an arm. Don’t know what the fuck you can do with that.” You nodded as you pushed open the doctors office door.

“There’s enough information in here that I can learn how to fit a prosthetic. Won’t be top quality but it’ll be better than nothing.” Your eyes scanned the books on the shelves and you smiled slightly at the titles. “Damn this guy read a lot.” You mumbled more to yourself as you pulled out a book called ‘Procedure desk reference’. “This shit’ll come in handy.”

“Dwight! Come grab this shit!” Negan called out as you pulled another thick volume off the shelf titled ‘Physicians' Desk Reference for herbal medication’. 

“Have you guys checked out any doctors offices around here for supplies?” You asked as you handed Dwight the two books and turned to the desk.

“Didn’t think about it, honestly and Carson was fucking useless and didn’t suggest it.” You nodded as you grabbed the two tablets off the desk and yanked the power cords from the wall.

“Here’s a whole list of doctors that should come in handy.” You said as you grabbed the rolodex off the doctor’s desk. “I know he referred me to a psychiatrist, which means mental health drugs. I know this guy is an orthopedic surgeon and he did his surgeries in the same building his office was in, meaning he could have anesthesia. Oh, this guy is pain management and always had some good under the table samples…”

“Well damn, sweetheart. Who fucking knew that dealing with your crazy ass would be so fucking fruitful.” Your face deadpanned as you looked up at him through your lashes.

“Shut up.” You muttered as you closed the top to the rolodex and tucked it under your arm. “I gotta go find myself my new leg and see what I can bring back that could be useful.” With a simple nod from Negan, you dipped into the hall and headed down to the therapy room. You stepped around members of the crew, who were searching every single nook and cranny for anything useful, and headed to the room that housed all the prosthetics. 

You walked along the line to find the part of the shelf that had your name on it. You were supposed to get a new leg before the fall and dealing with it after wasn’t on your list of priorities after. With a smile, you pulled the polypropylene and titanium from the shelf and gave it a once over. With a nod, you tucked it under your arm and grabbed the new protective sleeve that came with it as a guttural growl came at you.

“Shit!” You shouted as you lost your balance and toppled to the floor on your ass as one of the dead techs landed beside you. You scooted out of his grasp a little too late and he wrapped his hands around your old prosthetic finally breaking the pylon off the socket. You yanked your stump free and grabbed a limb off one of the shelves.

“Swear to fuck.” You shouted as you ripped off the hand with inhuman strength and stabbed the deadie in the head. Dark brown blood splattered the room as you continued your assault. “Not today, mother fucker. Not- to- day.” When you were sure the asshole was completely dead, you shouted ‘Ooorah’ at the corpse and laid back on the floor with a sigh only to look up at Regina, Simon and Negan.

“I take it back.” Negan said. “Bitch can fucking protect herself.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hell does that even say?” You asked yourself as you squinted at the God-awful handwriting later that night as you tried to organize Dr. Carson’s notes into some semblance of order. After a moment, you gave up trying to figure out the scribbles and added it to the growing pile of ‘unknowns’ on your bed to your left between you and your sleeping daughter. You grabbed the next page off the stack as someone knocked softly on your door.

“Yep.” You called out as you added the crumpled up paper to Cam’s pile and looked up at the door. You gave Negan a weak smile as he glanced down the hall before dipping into your room and closing the door behind him.

“How’s it goin’?” He asked as you grabbed the next piece of paper; a paper towel.

“If this man wasn’t already dead, I’d kill him out of principle for being a shitty doctor.” You added the note to Isabelle’s pile and grabbed the next one. “And on top of that, the amount of shit he wasted is disgusting. This Isabelle girl took seventeen pregnancy tests. Seventeen! Are you kidding me?” Negan huffed as he grabbed the chair from your desk and pulled it up to your bed side.

“Well she’s fucking dead and now you’re in charge of the clinic so you can make your own damn rules.” You nodded as you grabbed the next paper and squinted your eyes to try to find a name. “So we’re moving your clinic to a bigger room at the end of this hall for all you’ve fucking pulled off. Make it a little easier on you so you’re not going up and down the fucking stairs all the time, too.” You looked up at him as you set the paper down on Sherry’s pile and cocked your eyebrow. “We grabbed a bed from the fuckin’ hospital and one of those fuckin’ reclining chairs. That and the exam table you got gives you an actual fuckin’ hospital center.” You smiled at him and said a genuine ‘thank you’ but he brushed you off as he pulled something out of his pocket.

“I had the crew put all the shit in there for you to fuckin’ organize how you want it. I know how doctors are about their shit. Here’s the keys. You got the only copies to the med cart we grabbed but I have a copy to the lock we snagged off one of the fuckin’ doors at that second place.” You glanced at the keys in your hand and paused a bit as you saw not only your motorcycle keys but the hand made ‘I love you more’ keychain from Mike’s keyring.

“Damn.” You whispered as you brushed your thumb over your sister’s handwriting. You looked up at him with tears in your eyes and nodded. “Thank you.” He nodded his head as he reached out and gently placed his hand on your right thigh.

“I don’t know what the fuck it is about you, baby girl. But you make me wanna break all my own fucking rules.” You huffed a laugh as you jostled the keys in your hand before putting them on your bedside table.

“Oh yea? Like what?” He smirked and shrugged as he massaged his thumb into your thigh.

“Well… had any other prick pulled the stunts you did today and they’d fucking meet Lucille.” Your eyebrows flew to your hair line as he studied your face for your reaction. “The bat.” You pursed your lips and nodded slowly as he continued. “You going on a fucking run… no one gets to just fucking do it. But I fucking let you and I have no fucking idea why I did.”

“Usually it’s because people feel sorry for me because I’m missing a leg.” You said simply with a shrug as you looked down at his hand on your thigh. “So don’t beat yourself up over that shit.” You met his eyes again and you could see him slowly accepting your ‘get out of jail’ card.

“Yea… yea, you must be right.” You nodded at him again as he pulled his hand back to his lap. The two of you stayed quiet for a moment before he cleared his throat. “Well anyways, you’re getting a fucking crew. Get your shit settled, figure out what you have and what you still fucking need. Dwight, Laura, and Gary are yours when they ain’t out with me. You get two trips a month; I can’t fucking afford to lose another doctor and I can’t fucking afford them being gone more often.” You nodded your head as he stood up from the chair and headed toward the door. He hesitated for a moment before looking back at you. “Don’t fucking make me regret this.”


	2. Chapter 2

“Any allergies that you know about?” You asked for what felt like the millionth time as you gave yet another person a quick physical in your new clinic. The man on your table shook his head as you checked his ears, nose and throat and tossed the cover into a box marked ‘clear’ so you could sterilize them and use them again in the future. You glanced up at him and as you ran your temple thermometer across his forehead. “Any pain, any bumps, or bruises? Scars, past surgeries, anything like that?” You glanced up at the man, who was focused solely on your exposed stump just like every other person you had had come in. With a sigh, you snapped your fingers in front of his face.

“Oh! Shit, sorry. No, no pain, surgeries or weird stuff.” You nodded as you entered in the information in his chart.

“Alright, we’re all set here. Nurse Lilo.” You turned to your daughter with a smile and she held up a lollipop with a smile of her own. The man huffed a laugh and took the offered treat on his way out the door. You let out a sigh as you watched him walk out.

“Mommy… why do they keep starin’ at you?” You saved the new chart quickly and looked up at your five year old with a smile.

“Because they are just curious, baby. They’ve never seen someone who was missing a leg before.” She nodded slowly as she tried to understand while you looked back at your list of people who lived at the Sanctuary you still needed to see.

“How come?” You looked up from your list, which now only consisted of Negan and Brenna, and sighed.

“How come what, sweetheart?” She looked up from your leg and searched your eyes.

“How come they wanna make you feel bad for being different?” You smiled at your little girl, who was too pure for this world, and scooted over to where she was sitting on the big chair from the hospital.

“Because they just don’t get that it can be hurtful. But you have to remember… we can’t control other people. So we just have to ignore them when they’re being rude and hurtful, right?” She nodded at you as you reached out and booped her nose before scooting back over to sanitize your table.

“You’re a good mom.” Negan said softly as he came into the clinic. You looked up at him with a genuine smile and nodded.

“Thanks. I see you got my message to come see me when you got back?” He huffed a laugh and nodded as you scooted away from the end of the exam table.

“That I did. The fuck do you got for me, doc?” You smiled at him, actually glad he had made it back after his two week excursion to who knows where.

“Physical exam. Take a seat. Nurse Lilo?” Your little girl jumped off the chair and went over to close the door.

“The arm squeezer.” She said as she came over to do her portion of the exam. You helped her up onto your lap as Negan took a seat on your exam table. Brenna got a stern look on her face as you handed her the blood pressure cuff. “Arm please.” Negan chuckled as he took off his ever present leather jacket and offered up his arm while Brenna looked for the little arrow on the blue fabric.

“Line it up with the middle.” You reminded her as you pulled your stethoscope from around your neck. Your patient sat very still as you helped your little helper tighten the cuff around his muscular arm. You put your stethoscope in your ears and set the diaphragm in the crook of his arm as you handed her the pump. 

“Only to one-six-zero.” You reminded her as you clipped the gauge onto the holder and put your hand over hers. Negan watched as Brenna pumped with all her might to get the red line to hit 160 like she was supposed to. She smiled proudly when it finally made it and pulled her hands out from under yours so you could get an accurate reading. You glanced at your watch and could almost hear her whispered counting as you got the systolic and diastolic numbers.

“What’s your count, nurse?” You asked with one more glance at your watch as you let the rest of the air out of the bladder and took off your stethoscope.

“Four.” You nodded at her proudly as you put the blood pressure cuff on the counter and grabbed your tablet.

“What was she counting?” Negan asked as Brenna stood on the rolling stool with a foot on either side of your left thigh and held onto your pony tail for balance.

“Your respirations in fifteen seconds. Now, if you don’t mind, we have to take your pulse.” Negan laughed and nodded.

“Well who the fuck am I to stand in the way of my beautiful doctors?”

“Mommy…” Brenna giggled and you smirked and nodded.

“Yep, Negan says the very bad word a lot.” You watched his cheeks pink the slightest bit as you guided Brenna’s hand to the pulse point in Negan’s neck which was easier for her to feel.

“Sorry.” He said, receiving a glare from Brenna as you put her fingers on his jugular while yours went to the pulse point on his wrist.

“You gots be quiet!” She said to him. “I gots to count.” Negan put on a stern face and zipped his lips as you glanced at your watch.

“Ready?” You asked as you wrapped your arm around her middle so she wouldn’t fall over. “Go.” You forced yourself to tune out her out loud counting, which had gotten a lot better since she started counting people’s pulse a couple weeks before. She did mess up when she hit the teens but you knew she still needed a little more practice with those. “Time.”

“Good job, little doc.” Negan said as he held up his hand for a high five. Brenna hit it as hard as she could and he playfully shook his hand as if he was hurt. “Well daaa….ng, little one. You’re really strong!” She giggled and nodded her head as she sat back down on your legs. “What’s next?”

“Flexes.” She said as you placed a small rubber hammer in her hand and held on to it. “Now this could hurt.” She said sternly as she looked up at him. He nodded and furrowed his brow.

“Ok. I’m ready.” You guided Brenna’s hand and let her tap his knee. Negan, being the good sport he was, kicked his leg out a little dramatically and feigned shock. “Whoa! That’s never done that before! How did you do that?”

“Um…” Brenna said as you shifted her to your other thigh. “It’s a doctor secret so I can’t tell you.” You and your patient both fought to hold back your laugh as she did his other knee, receiving the same result.

“Alright, nurse. Your job here is done for now. Go prepare for your next part. This is our super special patient so you better pick the best one you got.” You said as she handed you the hammer and climbed off your lap. She nodded frantically as she climbed onto her chair and started digging through the bag of slightly stale lollipops for what she thought was the best one for her patient.

“So how am I, doc?” He asked as you added the data to his chart.

“Blood pressure’s normal. Pulse is a little high but it’s not concerning.” He nodded at you as you grabbed your stethoscope and moved your chair to stand up at his side. “Deep breath.” Negan let you finish you exam quietly but you couldn’t help but notice that he was constantly watching you unlike your other patients, who were simply watching your leg dangle. As you wrapped up your exam and asked him the standard general knowledge questions, you sat back down on your stool and smiled. “Well, you seem to be all good in my book.”

“Well that is great to hear.” He said as he put his jacket back on. “Is there anyone here that we need to be concerned about that you didn’t already know about?” You sat back in your chair as you finished inputting the last bit of info into his chart and your brow furrowed.

“Well… um let’s see.” You set your tablet down and looked up at the ceiling to recall the past two weeks of patients. “We have one woman that has severe arthritis but she refuses to leave the garden and I think her husband is in the early, early stages of Alzheimer’s so I’m gunna have to keep an eye on him. I’m gunna try to give Cam a prosthetic but Carson did a great job of butchering his stump so I don’t know if I’ll be able to without causing his nerves unnecessary pain. And other than a pregnancy test for one of those ladies in mourning, everyone was more interested in my stump then…”

“What the fuck did you just say?” You looked over at him and your brow furrowed.

“Which part?”

“Who took the fucking pregnancy test?”

“Oh!” You said as you grabbed your tablet and pulled up the chart, not realizing what you had just done. “Shit which one was… oh here it is. Amber. It came back negative but she was still crying so…” Negan nodded slowly as he pulled a leather glove out of his jacket pocket.

“Thank you. I’m gunna need you down in the fucking hall when you’re done in here. Take Brenna down to the day care first.” You nodded at him slowly as he stood up from the exam table and headed toward the door.

“Wait, your medicine!” Brenna called as she slid off the chair and ran over to him with the lollipop in her hand. He smiled at her as he crouched down at her side.

“Thank you Doctor Lilo. You did a great job today, princess.” She blushed violently as he ruffled her hair and stood back up. “Don’t be long, doc. I don’t like to wait.” You nodded at his back as you closed out Amber’s file and turned off your tablet.

“Alright, B. Let’s get you down to day care so mommy can figure out what’s going on.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In a five second period, you had officially figured out exactly what you had managed to get yourself involved with. One minute, everything was simply tense as you sat awkwardly besides the stairs, surrounded by people kneeling, while you listened to Negan’s speech about rules and how they keep things running… but the next word that you heard and completely registered was iron.

Your head whipped over to the fire, where everyone was watching an antique iron grow red hot in the furnace and it took you a moment to replace the word iron with your next instruction. Thankfully for you, Simon pulled you to your feet as Negan headed down the stairs toward you. He met your eyes for only a millisecond but in that moment, you realized just what kinda man he was… and it made sense to you.

“I’m gunna need someone to get him to my clinic immediately.” You whispered to Simon as you leaned slightly to the side to see who your patient was going to be. “And I need to go on a run early in the morning. At least four people outside my crew if you can spare it.” You barely saw his head nod out of the corner of your eye as Negan took the iron from the hook Dwight was holding.

Just like you had for the three years you were in Iraq, you blocked out the blood curdling screams that filled the hall as Negan burned off the left side of Mark’s face. You couldn’t avoid the smell of burning flesh; it was one smell that you could never get away from. You didn’t wanna know what rule he broke but part of you knew that it had something to do with the news you had given Negan in your clinic. You could barely see Amber out of the corner of your eye, watching in horror with the rest of the people in the room. But you chose to not focus on that. You chose to focus only on your job.

“Hey, doc.” Negan called out, shaking you from your own mind. You looked away from Mark’s passed out form and met his smiling eyes. “I’m all done here. Do your thing.” With a simple nod, you dipped through the crowd to start untying your patient to get him back up to your clinic. You checked his pulse, looked at the starting point of damage on his face, and started mumbling under your breath about what you would need to keep this man alive.

“Here, we got him.” A man named Leo said as he and another guy came to help you out.

“Take him straight to the clinic. I’m right behind you.”

——

It took you nearly all afternoon and far into the night to get Mark’s face debrided and patched up as best as you could. Around one in the morning, you needed to take a break to get some clean clothes and get off your prosthetic for a bit before you went out on your run. You locked the clinic door behind you and headed down the hall to your room, where you hoped Brenna was sleeping peacefully. You weren’t expecting to see who was currently choosing to babysit her.

“What’s up, doc?” Negan asked with a cocky edge in his voice. You simply glared at him as you limped into your room and over to your dresser.

“You did not need to be here.” You said as you pulled off your shirt and grabbed a new one from your dresser.

“What? I’m just fucking checking on my…”

“I’m not set up as a burn unit, Negan.” You hissed as you rounded on him. “Not one bit. I’m assuming that’s what happened to Dwight’s face as well and I am honestly shocked that Carson kept him alive with the little shit he had. But if this is your choice of punishment for rule breakers, you need to let me know now so I can be prepared to do my damn job.” Once again, Negan gave you ‘your look’ as you sat down on your bed beside your sleeping daughter and took off your prosthetic.

“That’s your fucking response?” He asked incredulously as you grabbed your jar of icy hot and a tube of chafe shield from your bedside table. You looked up at him and cocked your eyebrow questioningly.

“As opposed to what? I told you, I’m not scared of you.” He huffed as you spread an ample amount of Icy Hot onto the end of your stump.

“You fucking should be.” He growled. You sighed and let your arms fall onto your thighs.

“Why? Why should I be scared of a man that’s trying to keep the roof over his head running smoothly? Why should I be scared of your chosen consequences to people that break the rules you laid out perfectly clear, no matter how barbaric I think those methods are? Why should I be afraid of doing the same job the US government hired me to do years ago? I used to patch up men held in captivity and tortured for information on Al Qaeda. Just because I didn’t agree with their methods or your methods now, doesn’t mean I don’t have a job to do. 

I swore an oath when I became a doctor that I would do anything and everything to help my patients and if burned by an iron and missing limbs from deadie bites is what my patients look like these days, then I’ll do anything to keep them alive as best as I can. But I’ll be fucking damned if I get another burn victim without being set up as a burn center.”

“Jesus… I’d ask what the fuck is wrong with you but you’re just as twisted as I am and there ain’t nothing fucking wrong with that.” You huffed a laugh and shook your head as you turned your attention back to your leg.

“Nope. Just a product of my environment. Blame the government, I do.” You looked back up at him as you sat back against you pillows and brushed your hands off on your cut off jean shorts. “I need a few guys to head over to the hospital a county over I worked in. They have a burn unit and an ER that could come in handy right now.” He nodded as he got up from your desk chair.

“We’ll leave at dawn.” You nodded at him as you leaned your head back on the headboard and closed your eyes.

“See you then, boss.” You opened one eye and looked over at him with a smile as he shook his head.

“Fucking smart ass.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“OK, I need this room cleared and closed off.” You said as you pointed to the burn center door at the north end of the building you used to work in before turning to the south end of the building where the ER was. “And this one.” You pulled out your hand drawn map from your pocket and laid it out on the hood of Negan’s truck. “The burn unit has only one door inside here. It’s a swinging door with no handles. One way or another, I need to get in there because their antibiotics are the best.” The small crew of nine people including you and Negan nodded as you pulled the map toward you a bit more and sighed.

“Now the ER is a little more complicated. Three entries, no doors except the main one that leads outside; however, there are ten hospital beds that lock and a bunch of chairs that can be used as temp walls. Now, between the two doors that lead to the hallways are three trauma bays. They have doors on either side that can be closed and locked if need be. There are windows but they are high enough that if the what do you call um’s… biters? If the biters get through the glass, we’ll have enough of a warning to take them out before they make it over the wall and into the ER.

So this is what I suggest. We tackle the ER first. You guys get the temp walls up and secured while I clear out the trauma with um…. what’s your name again?” You looked up at the younger guy that was maybe in his early twenties. He told you his name, Chris, and you nodded as you flipped your map over. “OK, Chris. You, me, and Dwight are going to to take the three trauma bays. I’ll take one because it’s the biggest, Chris in two, and Dwight, you’ll take three. Clear out everything as fast as you can. The meds and supplies are in the glass shelf things on these two walls.” The two men looked at the walls you were pointing to and nodded. 

“Break the glass and throw every single thing into your bag. Then shove the two rolling carts into the main room and open the back door. You better run like your life depends on it and close the doors into the ER without getting bit. After that just make enough noise on the glass and the doors to get the walkers from the hall into the trauma bays so that we can get the ER cleared. That way, we draw the biters out of the burn unit so it’ll be easier to empty. 

Lastly, I need Negan or Regina on my six. Once I start clearing out the ER, I’m not gunna have time to watch my back and you two are the best shots we got. Just, please, keep me safe and try to stay out of my way since we all know I am not all that fast moving, OK?” Negan gave you a short nod and Regina looked like she was ready to murder you for telling her what to do. You grabbed your map and folded it up to put in your back pocket again. You looked at your crew expectantly and waited for them to either ask questions or move, but they did neither.

“You fucking heard her as well as I fucking did.” Negan said as he put Lucille over his shoulder and spun the crowbar you needed in his hand. “She runs the fucking med runs. Let’s move!” The crew jumped into action as you grabbed your knife and your old duffle off the seat of your motorcycle.

“Thank you.” You said quietly as you headed toward the door and put your quiver over your shoulder. Negan glanced down at you and shrugged.

“You know what the fuck you’re doin’. I trust your judgement with the medical shit same way I trust fuckin’ Simon or Gavin’s judgement with their communities.” Your brow furrowed as you looked up at him.

“What communities?” Negan paused outside the ER doors as Dwight and Arat pried the bay doors open.

“Worry about it later.” You nodded at him as you put your knife in the new to you holder on your belt and looked into the ER you were so familiar with.

“Alright. Let’s go.” On silent feet, the nine of you crept inside, easily taking out only four walkers that were standing around in the ER. On your way past, you popped the locks on the end of one of the beds as an example and ran as fast as your prosthetic would allow to trauma one. You knew immediately that it had been partially raided the second you stepped in the room but there was still enough stuff that was worth your while. You instantly grabbed a lamp and smashed it into the glass cabinet. You threw box after box of gauze, tape, needles and syringes into your bag and thanked God that whoever had raided this place originally didn’t think to grab these things the first time around.

“Leaving behind bandaids? Who does that?” As you grabbed the last few things from the cabinet, you heard the first slam and growl of a deadie slamming into your trauma room door. You barely gave it a second glance as you grabbed the handle of the first med cart and shoved it toward the door. With a grunt, you shoved the second cart toward the door, grabbed the entire tray of medical instruments and yanked open the back door.

“Trauma one, open.” You called out as you slammed the door behind you a mere second before the biter got to you.

“Trauma three, open.” Dwight yelled as shoved a cart in the middle of the room and started banging on the closed door.

“Two’s good.” Chris panted as he slammed his door closed and leaned against it. You looked over at him as he dropped his bag on the floor.

“Where’s your carts?” You snapped as you grabbed Dwight’s carts and pulled them toward you. The kid’s face dropped as he looked back into the room. “Jesus Christ.” You grumbled as Arat came over to help get the biters into the trauma bays. “Fuck it, make noise.”

“You’ll fucking pay for that later, kid.” Negan said as he took a step behind you and handed you the crow bar. You got to work quickly dumping bottle after bottle of medications and packages of sterile equipment into your duffle. It didn’t take long before the first window broke and the sound of guttural growls filled the room.

“Regina, get on this fucking window!” Negan shouted as you got the last cart emptied. You grabbed Chris’ half full bag and took off at a run, killing a walker that had wandered in from the back door with your crow bar on the way past.

“Main door’s getting compromised.” You called out as you slid into the nurses station where all the good drugs were in the center pharmacy of your thankfully small time hospital. You kept moving forward, ignoring what was going on behind you as best as you could so you didn’t forget anything… until you couldn’t any longer.

“I’m bit!” Chris screamed as he stumbled back from the window holding his arm. You swore under your breath and took off at a fast hobble.

“Negan, hold it out.” You said as you grabbed your knife from the holder. The boy screamed ‘no’ as Negan yanked his arm out of his grip and held it tight. Without thinking, you swung your knife as hard as you could and cut it clean off at the elbow. “Hold it up above your heart.” You said as you ripped off your belt and wrapped it around his arm. You pulled it tight and yanked off your t-shirt to try and stop the bleeding for a moment.

“Just fucking sit there!” You shouted as you ran back over to the nurses station to get the last of what you needed, not caring at that moment if the boy died or not and only caring about getting the more important job done. The moment you cleared the last bottle of morphine from the shelf, you zipped your bag closed and headed back to deal with Chris.

“We’re done in here. Let’s get him outside!” Negan continued shouting orders as you grabbed one of the duffle bags and Chris’ shirt to pull him to his feet. “Move, kid. Move your feet. Let’s go, keep that arm up.” The boy sobbed beside you as Dwight ran in front of you with the other two duffles and killed a stray biter. He kept the path clear to the truck he rode in and yanked open the back.

“What do you need?” He asked as you shoved Chris down on the tailgate.

“Clamps. They look like big tweezers. And I know there is rubbing alcohol somewhere.” The pair of you started ripping through bags to find the things you needed as the rest of the crew came out of the ER while taking out stray biters that made it through the bed barricade. “Stay with me kid. Just fucking stay with me. Dwight, I need hands.” You scrambled as fast as you could to get the bleeding under control, knowing full well that you were almost literally ringing a dinner bell with the screaming kid and the wave of blood that was drenching your partially naked body.

“This is not what I fucking planned, asshole!” You screamed at Chris as you got the last clamp into place. You grabbed a wad of gauze around the end of his stump and wrapped it up carefully with tape, being careful not to dislodge any of the clamps. With a sigh, you took a step back and found Negan. “We have maybe half an hour to do the burn unit. That’s it. He’ll be fine that long but we’ll be pushing it any longer.”

“Let’s fucking move, people.” Negan said, prompting you and Dwight to move the blood drenched kid deeper into the bed of the truck. You grabbed your knife out of the bed and followed the rest of the group, gratefully accepting the bandana Laura handed you to wipe off your face.

“Alright, once we’re in, I want three people on the fucking door. Everyone else, clear out every shelf, cart, cubby… shit, every fucking container in the fucking smallest fucking drawer you can find. Quick and fucking efficient.” Negan said as he led the group over to the burn unit.

“And please don’t get bit. I got one fucking amputee and a fucking rule breaker to deal with I don’t need more.” Negan looked back over your shoulder and caught your eye for a half second before he looked back and ripped the doors open. The crew scrambled forward, the three biggest guys taking point at the double doors as everyone else split off to empty their cabinets.

“Fucking kids.” You grumbled to yourself as you pried open one of the cabinets marked ‘meds’. “Who the fuck put a kid on my squad anyways? Mother fucking insult.”

“Quit fuckin’ griping.” Negan said behind you as he ripped apart a cabinet with sterile gloves and gowns.

“Kid had no business in that hospital, Negan. He’ll be lucky if I can save the rest of that arm.”

“And that’s his own damn fucking fault, doc. Not yours. He made the fucking choice to come and he made the choice not to listen. That falls on him.” You sighed as you and Negan both emptied the last cabinet along the wall together. You heard the other crew members start calling out ‘clear’ one by one as the first walkers started to hit the door. “Clear out!” You made it a half step away from your cabinet when Negan dipped his shoulder into your stomach and lifted you off the ground. You reached back, grabbed your prosthetic and held it on your stump as you watched the biters start to push through the unguarded door.

“Close it, close it, close it!” You cried out as Negan made it outside with you over his shoulder. Dwight and Arat slammed the door closed and stuck a broken piece of bed rail through the handles just in the nick of time. You let out a sigh of relief as Negan set you down on the ground carefully. You looked up at him for a moment and gave him a small nod. “Alright. Let’s get this dumbass back home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After fourteen hours, two slight meltdowns, and learning how to do an amputation on the fly through a text book, you managed to get Chris stable and patched up and get a salve on Mark’s burns. You limped down to your bed room just before dawn, fighting your tears with every step. Your whole body ached as you pushed open your bedroom door as quietly as possible but you hesitated just in the door way.

“Have you been here all night?” You asked Negan as you stepped the rest of the way into your room and closed the door behind you. He looked up from the book he was reading on your bed and nodded as he took of his black rimmed glasses.

“Well I had to learn about Ohana.” He said as he gestured to your TV with his glasses with a chuckle. “And magic carpet rides.” You huffed a laugh as you hobbled over to your dresser and grabbed a clean shirt on your way to the far side of the bed.

“She loves Lilo and Stitch.” You told him as you flopped down on the bed with a giant yawn. “I think she can quote that movie by now. Can you hand me that jar and the tube of lotion from my table?”

“How has she seen it so many times? Here, I got it.” You looked up at him and didn’t even try to fight as he peeled the sleeve off your leg and tossed it on the bed by his knees. You weakly pointed to the areas that needed the Icy Hot and leaned back against your headboard.

“Millions. I was one of those wack job, dooms-day preppers after I came home from Iraq. Built an underground bunker in my back yard, had enough food and water for me and my sister’s family, had solar panels in the back and a rain collection system… would’a lasted the four of us at least a year and a half.” You shook your head as you sat up a bit and pulled off your old shirt. “That’s the reason I got Brenna. I was babysitting when the final announcement went out; that Atlanta was shutting down and the military was stepping in… I knew that meant nothing good. So I packed up everything I could grab from my house, called and left messages with Sarah, and headed to the bunker with Brenna.” Tears welled in your eyes as Negan’s strong fingers worked magic on your sore stump.

“Brenna and I were down there for four years, five months, and 11 days before we ran out of food. And since I was unable to get any sort of radio station to come through and the news still wasn’t back up, I slipped into survival mode. I packed up some clothes and anything else I could carry, grabbed my motorcycle from my garage and stole my neighbors side car and hit the road with a four year old. I had no fucking idea what I was expecting but it damn sure wasn’t what I saw. Figured it would be like an apocalypse where everyone was just gone.” You rolled your head toward him on the headboard and shook your head.

“If I had known how bad it was I would have never left that bunker. I would have left Brenna in there and figured out a way to grow crops or searched my neighbors houses for food or figured out something down there to survive. I was fucking blindsided when we left my neighborhood but I just kept going. I showed no fear so my child would be strong and I just kept moving. I planned on trying to get back to my house but shit just kept happening. 

I was finally in a place that heading back seemed like it was finally a possibility. I had found those seeds you got in a gardening store and I knew I had planters in my garage but then my leg broke. My back up was always shitty so I figured I’d get to the prosthetics office to get the one I was supposed to get before the fall but then I found you. And this is the safest I’ve felt since I was in my bunker. And words could never be enough to thank you for that.” Negan smiled as he leaned back beside you with a small smile.

“It was my fucking pleasure, baby girl.” You both looked over at Brenna, who had herself curled into Negan’s other side on your pillow, when she stirred in her sleep. When she didn’t wake up, you yawned and stood up awkwardly to take off your dry blood soaked jean shorts. “Does she know?” You looked up at him through your lashes, noticing that he was purposely being respectful and looking away from you at Brenna.

“No. She doesn’t.” You hopped once to get yourself closer to the bed and climbed onto the queen sized bed under your blankets with a big yawn. “She was only a couple months old when we went into the bunker and when Sarah never showed up… well I just took the easy way out on that one. She knows I had a sister but not that she was her birth mom.” He nodded as he pulled up his knees and got under the blankets beside you so you had more blanket as you laid down on Brenna’s pillow. “And now… I don’t know what I’d tell her.”

“If you want help figuring it out, I can help you.” A smile spread across your face as you subconsciously scooted closer to Negan’s warmth.

“Look at you. You said an entire sentence without saying fuck.” He chuckled as he grabbed his glasses.

“Shut the fuck up.” You let out a hummed laugh as you made yourself comfortable.

“Wake me up in an hour so I can check on the dumbass.”

“Sure thing, doc. Sweet dreams.” With a hum in response, you shifted so your forehead was just brushing Negan’s hip and passed out.

——

“Alright Mark. You’re all set for right now.” You said as you taped the last piece of gauze into place. You sat back and looked at him with tired eyes and a weak smile. “Now, consider this your breakfast change. I need you to come down to see me after every meal until I say other wise. Don’t touch your face and do your best to keep the bandage clean so you don’t get an infection. It could go straight to your brain and that’s just… not what we want.” Mark chuckled and nodded at you as you handed him a small cup with one Tylenol with Codeine and a regular Tylenol. “Try not to sleep on it, too. You could pull off the new skin trying to form and we don’t want that either. And if you have questions or need anything, come find me, OK?” He nodded his head as he got up off the exam table.

“Thanks a lot, doc.” You nodded at him once as you grabbed your tablet to update his chart and document the medications you gave him and treatment you used so he could pay for them with his points. You made a side note on a piece of paper to give to your boss before setting both aside to finally check on Chris. He was still asleep when you came back from your nap and you hoped for his sake, he stayed like that as you changed his bandages.

“Jesus, kid. You had one fucking job, man.” You mumbled as you carefully pulled off the tape and gauze. You set them both aside and turned your back for only a moment before all hell broke loose.

“My arm. What happened to my arm!” Chris screamed as you spun on your chair back toward him. Panic filled your soul as the kid started thrashing in pain.

“Hey whoa! Chris, calm down for me!” You screamed as you jumped to your feet… well, your left foot at least. “Hey stop!”

“My arm!” He screamed as he bashed the stump against the bedrail, easily ripping the stitches out like a knife through warm butter. Blood started gushing from his ripped open arteries, spraying you and the room with every beat of his heart. You scrambled to grab something, anything to use as a tourniquet but you couldn’t do that and stop Chris from thrashing at the same time.

“I need help in here!” You screamed as the heart rate monitor you had taken from the cancer hospital went wild above your head. You screamed, wondering why the hell his arteries and veins hadn’t curled into themselves for self preservation when the heart rate monitor flat lined.

“No! Kid, stay with me!” You screamed as you hopped one step over to start CPR but your foot slipped in the pool of blood on the floor. You hit the floor with a loud grunt and you instantly scrambled to try to get back up again. “Chris! Chris! Stay with me!” You screamed as you watched the pale limb sputter to just a drip. You swore loudly and punched the metal side of the hospital bed as all the fight to save the kid left you. You knew that even with a blood bank that you didn’t have, there was no chance for this kid to come back.

“Damn you kid!” You burst into tears and leaned your back against the exam table. You ran your hands through your blood soaked hair and sighed as you looked back up at the kid on your bed. Your eyes started to slip out of focus as you tried to figure out just how you could have gone about this differently and that was exactly how Negan and Brenna found you when they came to get you for breakfast forty-five minutes later.

“Mommy! We have apples…” You slowly glanced up just in time to see Negan yank your daughter backwards and pick her up.

“Hey, I need you to sit out here and wait for me, princess. I gotta talk to mommy.” You couldn’t hear Brenna’s response as you looked back at Chris’ pale body. “What the fuck happened?” You looked back at Negan and shook your head as he closed and locked the door behind him.

“He panicked. Negan, I tried but he wouldn’t stop thrashing and I slipped…” You burst into tears and Negan walked across the room to the bed as he pulled out his knife.

“You gotta get the damn brain.” He said as he plunged the blade into the boy’s skull. “They’ll fucking turn otherwise.” You nodded at him as he came over and pulled you into his arms. 

“I’m sorry!” You sobbed as he held your face into his shoulder and ran his fingers through your hair.

“Hey, no. You did exactly what you were fucking supposed to. That’s his mother fucking fault.” You nodded weakly as exhaustion finally started to kick in as the adrenalin wore off. You looked over at the sound of his crackling walkie. “Simon, I need you in the clinic immediately. Bring Frankie or Sherry with you.”

“I must of cut it at an angle.” You said to yourself as you looked at Chris’ lifeless body. “They should have rolled…” You shook your head as you pulled yourself out of Negan’s arms and went to wipe your tears away only to smear blood across your cheek. Negan huffed as he pulled off his ever present red scarf and used it to wipe off your face.

“Don’t you fucking dare blame yourself, baby girl. That kid knew the fucking risks and he fucking knew you were helping him. You did everything you fucking should have.” You nodded as someone knocked on the door. “Let me get Brenna settled then we’ll get you in the fucking shower so Simon’s boys can get this place cleaned the fuck up. You look like you were in a damn horror movie.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy? Why’s it still raining?” Brenna asked as she stood on your desk chair so she could look out the small window in your room a little over two months after you had gotten to the Sanctuary. You glanced up from the general surgery book you were currently studying and shrugged your shoulders.

“Because the clouds have a lot of rain in them, sweetheart. That rain has to go somewhere, doesn’t it?” You smiled at her little huff as she rested her chin on her folded arms on the window sill.

“Why can’t it go somewhere else?” She grumbled as she watched the rain beat against the windows in the grey afternoon sky. You laughed and looked back at your book to do your best to memorize how to do an appendectomy just in case. You were only able to see for a few more seconds before a large flash of lightening illuminated the room and caused the lights in your room to shut off.

“Brenna stay still! Don’t move! Don’t wiggle, I’m coming!” You shouted as you threw your book on the bed next to you. You grabbed your prosthetic and threw it on with no sleeve as Brenna started to cry because of the fear in your voice. You could barely see in the darkened room as you stood up from the bed and took a step toward the door only to get plowed over as someone rushed into the room.

“Fuck! Sorry…” Negan said as you landed hard on your hip on the thankfully carpeted floor.

“Get Brenna. She’s on a chair by the window.” Your daughter whined for him through her tears as he carefully meandered around the obstacles of books and clothes on the floor that Brenna always threw all over the place no matter how many times you picked them up.

“Come here, princess. I gotcha.” You pulled off your prosthetic so you could put the sleeve on first when your room was illuminated by the light of a flashlight.

“What the hell happened?” You asked as Simon came in to help Negan get you up off the floor.

“Lightning hit the fucking solar panels. We were heading to check out the fucking damage and we heard you yell.” You sighed and nodded as the two men helped you jump over to the bed.

“Bad- word- ‘egan.” Brenna sniffled as she climbed out of Negan’s arms and into yours.

“Yea, sorry princess. That’s a bad word.” You saw Simon give Negan a sideways glance as the latter stood up straight. “Stay on the bed. I’ll grab the lantern from the clinic. So far its just this part of the building and there aren’t much of us over here.” You nodded at him and cradled Brenna close as he snatched the flashlight from Simon and the clinic keys from the bedside table. As you ran your fingers through your baby girl’s hair, you could hear Negan’s rushed footsteps mingled in with the storm raging outside. You carefully scooted back on the bed to lean against the headboard as Negan came back in with the bright, battery powered back up lantern from the clinic.

“Let me know what happens with the panels?” You asked as he set the lantern down on the bedside table. He nodded as he leaned down and gently kissed Brenna’s forehead.

“You got it. Just stay still for me.” You nodded at him as he turned on his heel and gestured for Simon to follow him. 

——

You were sitting by the window, watching the rain pound against the glass since you couldn’t see much of anything else in the dark, night sky including the stars. You had forgotten how peaceful storms could be and as you sat there, you had to actually think about the last time you had seen a storm like this. It had to have been at least five years. A gentle knocking on your door caused you to turn in your chair.

“It’s open.” You said loud enough for whoever was seeking entrance to hear but not loud enough to wake up Brenna. You smiled as Negan stuck his head in the door and looked for you on the bed with a flashlight. “Window.” He smirked as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him.

“Thought I told your ass to stay on the fucking bed.” You nodded at him as you leaned your arm on the window frame.

“I wanted to watch the rain.” He nodded as he turned on the lantern on the table and shut off the flashlight. “It’s so peaceful, don’t you… hey, what are you going?” He smirked again as he pulled out a small pile of sleep clothes from under your bed. 

“Brenna and I have fucking slumber parties when you’re at fucking work. Shut up.” You giggled as you turned around to look out the window so he had some privacy to change out of his soaking wet clothes.

“So what happened with the solar panels?” You inquired as you watched a small bolt of lightening light up the sky. You heard your guest sigh as he tossed his wet clothes toward your bathroom.

“We lost fucking two of them. Fried to shit. But two out of fucking thirty ain’t that fucking bad.” You startled a bit as he came over and gently touched your right thigh to get your attention. “Get up.” You nodded as you got up and he took the chair. “We spent the rest of the fucking day covering that shit up with fucking tarps.” You whistled as he put his hands on your hips and pulled you back down onto his thighs. “It’s just another fucking pain in the ass for me to have to move people around to give them power…”

“You know we can get more solar panels, right?” You asked as you situated yourself comfortably on his lap so you were looking out the window. “I have eight of them at my old house in the garage. I doubt they were something that got raided in the past year.”

“Well fuck me, sweetheart. You continue to became the most valuable person in this fucking place.” You smiled and leaned into his chest as he put his hand on your hip. The two of you sat and watched the rain for a few minutes before you huffed a laugh.

“Do you know this is the first time you’re having a real sleep over with me, too.” You felt Negan’s chuckle against your shoulder as he wrapped his other arm around your middle and laced his fingers together on your hip.

“I like your fucking company. So much more enlightening than the time I spend with my fucking wives. Plus, Brenna calls me the fucking King. And my fucking ego loves that shit.” You couldn’t help put giggle as you poked his stomach and laid your head on his shoulder.

“Let the record show I am absolutely not joining you and your sister wives, thank you.” You could almost hear his eyes roll as he tightened his arms around you.

“I honestly wouldn’t fucking want you too. Those bitches are with me because of what I can fucking give them. You spend time with me because you actually fucking want to. Big fucking difference.” You nodded against his shoulder as you both watched a flash of lightening streak across the sky. You both jumped a bit as a loud clap of thunder rattled the windows violently.

“Mommy!” You pulled yourself from Negan’s arms and he instantly lifted you up and carried you over to the bed.

“Hey, it’s OK, sweetheart.” You soothed as you got into bed and pulled Brenna into your arms. “Did the thunder scare you?” She nodded against your chest as Negan got into bed behind her.

“You know what my mom used to tell me?” He asked as he pulled up the blankets over the three of you. Brenna shook her head as she rolled onto her back and looked over at him. He smiled down at her as he propped his head up on his hand. “She told me that the reason we had thunder was because the angels in heaven were bowling. So, when you get really, really scared, just remember that your Aunt Sarah and Uncle Mike are up in heaven bowling, OK?” She nodded as she gripped the blanket tight and held it up to her chin. Negan smirked and reached out to boop her nose as you tucked her Stitch stuffed animal beside her. 

“How ‘bout Negan and I stay here all night to protect you?” You asked as you laid down on the pillow next to her. 

“Like Ohana?” You glanced up at Negan, who didn’t hesitate with his nod.

“Yea, princess. Like Ohana.”


	3. Chapter 3

“So can I ask you something?” Negan asked softly as he brushed his fingers across the scar on the end of your stump. You nodded as you ran your fingers across Brenna’s back as she slept and looked across the pillows at your sleep over partner. “What happened… with your leg?” You gave him a weak smile and sighed.

“Were you in the military?” Negan shook his head as he scooted impossibly closer to you around Brenna. “It’s terrifying. Even though I was on a secure base and I was just a doctor, I still woke up every single morning in fear. Fear of what people were actually capable of. You see, back home, you guys saw on TV maybe half of what I knew actually happened. Suicide bombers were taking us out multiple times a day, every single damn day. IED’s every ten feet on and off every single road coming in and going out of the place. Kids… little kids with guns that saw our uniforms and shot on sight no questions asked. But I had a job to do. Same as I did before and same as I do now. It was just supposed to be a job.” You sighed and let your head rolled back on the pillow so you could look up at the ceiling.

“There were five of us; one doc, three soldiers, and me, the soldier doc in training. We were just leaving base for a couple hours to meet with a supply drop off. We made it to the drop off point just fine, no problems. But the way back…” You closed your eyes and shook your head to combat your tears. “The IED came out of fucking no where. Just came out of fucking no where. One minute we were just driving along and the next I was laying in the hot sand looking up at the sky with my leg pinned under the humvee. I just remember screaming…”

“Hey… stop, it’s OK.” Negan said as he took his hand off your leg and reached up to gently grab your chin with his thumb and pointer finger to turn your face toward him. You opened your tear filled eyes and searched his sad brown eyes. “I’m sorry.” You shook your head and sniffled.

“It’s fine. I haven’t talked about it in a long, long time.” He nodded in understanding as he laced his fingers with yours under the pillows under Brenna’s head.

“Lucille was my wife.” He said softly as he brushed his thumb across your chin. “She had cancer just before the fall. I… well fuck… I was cheating on her for the longest damn time before we found out but the thought of losing her brought me home. She lasted a few months before the cancer took her just as the fall happened. But I couldn’t put her down…”

“Shhh…” You said softly as you squeezed his hand. “So we both have ugly pasts. We had to be shaped somehow, right?” He huffed and nodded as he cupped your jaw in his hand.

“Can I tell you something that can’t leave this fucking room?” You nodded at him as you stopped rubbing Brenna’s back and put your hand on his. “I’m really fucking glad you head butted me in the face.” You huffed a laugh as you laced your fingers with his on your cheek.

“Is it OK that I’m not glad you kicked me in the head?” He smiled and nodded his head with a small laugh.

“Yea sweetheart. You don’t have to be glad about that.”

——

“So what’s the fucking damage?” Negan asked his crew leaders as he walked into his meeting room. He pointed you to a chair at the end of the table with Lucille as he walked the other way to his chair at the head of the table. You could feel eyes boring into the side of your face as you took your seat before Simon finally spoke up.

“We only lost those two solar panels.” He started, drawing the eyes of most of the people in the room. You looked at the man sitting directly to your left as he looked down the table at Negan and leaned back in his chair. “Part of a fence was taken out on the south side but it was the outer ring. I got a crew out there now fixing it.”

“Gardens got a little tore up.” Dwight said as he folded his hands on the table. “But everything is salvageable.”

“Little bit of flooding in the main hall but no more than usual.” Gavin chimed in. Negan nodded as he rolled Lucille on his shoulder.

“So how do we fucking fix this panel shit?”

“Well, with the panels out, we can move everyone out of the halls that lost power.” Dwight suggested. You opened your mouth to say something, but Negan held up his finger for you to wait. The room stayed quiet as Negan waited impatiently for another suggestion.

“What about rerouting some of the other panels. The clinic’s down that way and moving it would be a pain.” Gavin said, his suggestion coming out more like a question.

“The old clinic wasn’t affected though.” Regina said as she looked at you out of the corner of her eye with so much disdain that you actually cocked your eyebrow at her. “We’ll just move her back down there. And there’s only half dozen rooms that were affected. The armory was affected but we don’t need fucking lights to use it. That whole hall can be washed…” Her words were interrupted by a loud bang as Negan slammed Lucille down on the table.

“My fucking room is down that fucking hall!” Negan roared causing Dwight, Gavin, and Regina to startle the slightest bit, while you and Simon didn’t look affected at all. “Now, since you fucking assholes can only come up with fucking scraping the hall, why don’t we let someone with some fucking real ideas speak.” He grabbed Lucille off the table and gestured to you as he leaned back in his chair and kicked his feet up on the table. 

“Eight unused solar panels. Easy access. Run is in and out in a secured neighborhood. You can replace the two that got burned out and have six more to spare. Cables, batteries, connectors, mount poles; all of it’s there in a locked garage. You don’t lose rooms, don’t have to move my clinic. And as for the leak in the main hall, there’s some storm shutters in the garage as well. Screw them down right over the hole, the slats will redirect the water off the roof. Problem number two solved. 

You can pull up some of my neighbor’s fence if you need it, too. It’s chain link and I’m sure I’ve got some shit in my garage to put it up if you don’t. Solves problem three if your crew hasn’t solved it already. The garden… well that shit’s gunna flood. Nothing I can really do about that.” You shrugged your shoulder as you sat back in your chair. “Simple.” You forced yourself to not look away from Negan to avoid seeing the death stares you were receiving from the rest of his inner circle. After a moment, he nodded and scooted his chair back.

“We ride out in fucking thirty. Get your fucking shit together, people.”

——

“Fourth house down on the right. It’s the keystone of the cul-de-sac.” You called out to Negan as you pushed the fence that went around your neighborhood opened. “It’s the only one with the shutters all closed. Wait out front, you won’t be able to get in.” He nodded his head once and signaled for Simon to drive past you and into your old, quarantined neighborhood. You kept yourself out of the way as the crew followed after him in a box truck and your brother-in-law’s pick-up truck. With a heavy sigh, you walked your motorcycle into the fence before pulling it closed and wrapping the chain around the gates to keep any biters out. The ride through your old neighborhood was comforting and nauseating at the same time but you couldn’t stop the small smile that pulled at your lips as you looked at your small, secured, two story house.

“I need you around back.” You said to Negan as you pulled into the driveway. “There’s only one way into this place from the outside.” He gave his men the instruction to check the houses on your street as you pulled off your helmet and headed around the back through the six foot tall, locked, steel fence around your property. You let out a sigh as you looked at the black, metal door that stood in front of a small hill that you knew lead to your underground home. “Four years.” You said softly as you kept walking to the roof that went over your back porch. “Four fucking years. Can I get a boost?” You asked as you pointed to the roof. He nodded as he pulled his eyes off the door and looked over at you. You shoved your bike keys into your pocket and put your foot into the cradle of his interlaced fingers.

“How the fuck did you get down the first time?” He grunted as he lifted you up into the air. You laughed as you pulled yourself onto the roof and glanced down at him over the edge.

“Very fucking carefully. I’ll meet you at the garage.” With a nod from him, you got to your feet a little awkwardly and headed over to the window that lead to your old bedroom. You quickly unlocked the padlock and put the combination into the secondary lock so you could push open the rolling, metal shutter. Every thing was left exactly where you left it when you hauled ass out the door five years before. Clothing littered the floor and drawers hung from your dresser. Hangers decorated the areas of the wood floor the clothes didn’t cover and you noticed a half dozen articles of clothing that would have come in handy in the winter months.

You headed down the hall, choosing not to look at the family photos that lined the walls of the short hall and the stairwell. You continued through the kitchen, that you had stripped bare the day you got the news, and headed out into your packed garage. You could hear Negan shouting on the other side of the door as you went over and unlocked the two locks keeping the door down. With a small grunt, you pulled the door up and sighed.

“There’s nothing left inside but take whatever you want from here. Just let me know when you’re done. I gotta grab a couple things from out back.”

“Care if I tag along? I wanna check out this fucking bunker of yours.” You nodded at him as you headed out of the garage and around the side of your house. 

“Can you promise me something?” You asked as you headed toward the bunker door. You heard Negan hum as you put in the code for the door. “Promise me that if something happens to me or to the Sanctuary that you’ll bring Brenna back here. Promise me that you’ll be her guardian.” You looked back over your shoulder as the lock on the door popped open and he nodded his head.

“I promise you. I’ll always look after both of you.” With a nod of your head, you pulled open the door and flicked on the light. Halogen lights crackled on and flooded the container with bright light. You flicked one of the light bulbs that always gave you trouble on your way down the stairs and sighed as you hit the bottom.

“So this is home.” You stepped a few feet into the area that was designated as your kitchen and looked around. “This is where I raised my daughter.”

“Holy fucking fuckity fuck.” Negan muttered as he tried to take in everything. He whistled as he looked at the hundreds of labeled tote boxes meticulously organized and stacked along the left side wall of the bunker from the small kitchen all the way to the small closet beside the queen sized bed in the back corner. More boxes lined the back wall and continued up the right side to the bathroom filling in every inch of available space along the walls. Toys that you had been forced to leave behind littered the floor and a small pile of clothes that you had needed to fold were sitting in the basket by the pull out couch that sat on the right side of the small bunker. “This is fucking insane.” You huffed a laugh and nodded as you headed over to the closet to grab a duffle bag and your guitar case.

“I wanted to be prepared for anything.” You said as you emptied the laundry basket into the duffle. “If you can think of something to help you out, it’s here. Medicine, weapons, kitchen shit… it’s all here. I know you need supplies but I can’t let you raid this place. Not yet. I need to know that I always have a back up for my daughter…”

“No, it’s OK. I understand.” You nodded at him in gratitude as he gestured around the bunker. “What do you need from here?”

“Um… just some clothes and my guitar. Oh, and this box of VHS tapes and DVD’s. Give Brenna a little variety. I have copies of all them so it’s not a huge deal if I lose them.” He nodded as he stepped around you and grabbed the box of Disney, Dreamwork's, Pixar, and Universal animated movies you picked up from thrift stores before the fall. You glanced in the box quickly as you put the strap of your guitar case over your shoulder and nodded at its contents. “Oh! Wait, I need this one.” You pulled out the box for ‘Tangled’ and went over to grab the disc from the TV. You heard Negan chuckle.

“One of her favorites?” He inquired as you put the DVD back into the box. You smirked and shook your head.

“Stitch is her favorite. She always wanted a dog and that was the closest I could get. I was just tired of hearing the same movie over and over so I made a rule that she had to watch a different movie between each viewing of Stitch. She was watching Tangled so I could pack Stitch the morning we left.”

“Well thank fucking God for that rule.” Negan said as you grabbed a hoodie for you and one for Brenna from your closet and stuck them on top of the box. “I’m tired of that movie already and it’s only been a couple months.”

“Come on, let’s get back before those assholes start breaking shit in my house out of spite.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“God, you are not getting lighter, little girl.” You groaned as you picked up Brenna from one of the nap cots in the day care. You hiked her up on your hips and wrapped your arms around her middle and under her butt as her arms wrapped around your neck.

“Want me to get her?” Negan asked. You shook your head as you headed out of the room with a slightly more prominent limp from the added weight. 

“I got it. I only get to do this for so long, you know?” He nodded his head and followed you down the hall toward your room that hopefully had power by now. As you rounded the corner to head up the stairs, laughter caught your attention.

“What does he even see in her?” You heard Frankie asked over the tittering of the other wives in their room. “I mean, come on!”

“He has to feel sorry for her. I mean, that leg is disgusting.” Another woman chimed in. You quickly reached out, grabbed Negan’s arm and mouthed for him to ‘wait’ as the wives continued.

“She’s only sleeping with him so he’ll protect that brat of hers. That kid runs wild…”

“Oh, I know!” Sherry chimed in over the girl. “It’s sad, really. You know, that kid should be put out of the misery of having a cripple for a mother in this world.” The girls laughed as you tightened your grip on Negan’s leather jacket in your fury.

“I bet he feels sorry for her.” Amber chimed in, her voice meek and almost unheard. “I would. Crippled, obviously mentally disturbed, single mom… get in her pants and have the doc in his pocket. Disgusting leg or not, it’s a power move…” The woman stayed quiet for a moment before bursting into a fit of giggles as the sounds of chairs scraping across the floor covered the noise of their laugh and the creak of Negan’s leather glove on Lucille.

“I bet Negan probably has to fuck her with the lights off just to be able to…” Frankie’s words died in her throat as the small group rounded the corner of the hall you and Negan were standing in. You could feel Negan’s arm shaking with rage as he glared at his wives.

“So… you fucking whores have something to say?” He asked as he pulled his arm out of your grip and lowered Lucille. “No, please… let’s fucking hear your fucking concerns.” You rubbed Brenna’s back softly as you tried to control your own rage as the wives scooted closer to each other in a ball of black dresses and revealing displayed skin. “Let’s fucking see… she’s a whore?” He asked as he took a step forward and spun Lucille around. He chuckled and shook his head. “No… no that would fucking be you. She’s fucking disgusting? Nope still not fucking close. That would be you fucking bitches, too.”

“Negan...” Sherry tried as she shifted her body in front of Amber’s as the small group of five women cried silently in terror.

“Quiet!” He shouted as he pointed at her with the bat inches away from her face. “You’ve fucking said your peace! Now where the fuck was I?”

“Killing Brenna.” You chimed in casually as you looked at the sleeping girl in your arm.

“Thank you, sweetheart. So you wanna fucking kill an innocent little girl because you fucking think a ‘cripple’ can’t fucking be a fucking mother? Fucking wrong again because she managed to keep that little girl alive by her fucking self for five fucking years! You fucking bitches couldn’t last one fucking minute out there by yourselves let alone with a fucking kid! And fucking finally, not that our sex life is any of your fucking business, but this woman puts each and every one of you to fucking shame in the bedroom.” Your eyes barely darted over to him because you had never actually had sex with him before but you looked back at the wives as you shifted your weight to your left leg as best as you could so you wouldn’t fall over on your sore stump.

“Now, I try not to fucking beat women but you fucking cunts are making Lucille fucking thirsty just by fucking existing right fucking now.” Two of the women let out choked sobs as Negan swung his bat centimeters away from Frankie’s face. “But I got a fucking better idea since I have the fucking doc in my pocket and all. Each one of you has a fucking family member or two being treated by her for fucking free. That shit ends fucking now! Their fucking treatment and fucking meds will need to be paid for by fucking points. So I fucking strongly suggest you fucking conniving scum get your fucking asses to work to get them their shit. Your free ride is fucking over! But just remember... you still fucking belong to me!” He glared at the women with so much hate you had to wonder how these women hadn’t died from the look alone. “You better fucking get the fuck out of my fucking face right now before I let Lucille take her fucking blood.” The women scrambled to flee around you as Negan swung his bat over his shoulder.

“Can you take her?” You asked softly as you tried to shift again and Negan whipped back toward you.

“Fuck. Sorry, sweetheart, give her here.” He set Lucille down against the wall and carefully took Brenna from your arms with a huff. “God, you’re right, she is fucking heavy.” You smirked and picked up Lucille to follow after him. 

“So I put them to shame in the bedroom?” You laughed as you headed up the stairs to your hallway one step at a time.

“Abso-fucking-lutely, baby girl. You’ve got a fucking brain which is more than I can fucking say about all of them fucking combined.” He paused at your door to wait for you to catch up with a smile. “And I don’t even have to fucking sleep with you yet to know that if and when we do, you’re gunna fucking blow my mind.” You flushed red and rolled your eyes as you unlocked your bedroom door.

“Stop.” He chuckled as he laid Brenna down on your pillow. With a smile, he stood up straight and reached for your arm. He pulled you into his chest and gently grabbed your hips.

“You are too amazing for fucking words. And the only thing that fucking matters is my opinion...”

“Oh, I’m not phased by them.” You said as you brushed your hands up his arms to his shoulders. “I’ve heard it all. The only people’s opinion that matters to me is my daughter... and you.” He smiled down and you as he stepped a half step closer so his chest pressed against yours.

“You have no fucking idea how happy that makes me, (Y/N).” You hummed in content agreement as he leaned down and captured your lips with his. You instinctively wrapped your arms around his neck and leaned into him but he pulled away entirely too quickly for your liking. Negan chuckled at your whine and gave you one more chaste kiss. “Bed time, baby girl. Let’s get you off that leg.” You let out an annoyed sigh for only a second until Negan picked you up by the backs of your thighs and carried you over to the other side of the bed so that you would be in the middle of the bed.

“We need a babysitter or some shit.” You said as you scooted across the green comforter you had on your bed. “This kid is like the biggest cock block ever.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy?” Brenna asked as she wiped off your exam table for you while you documented Frankie’s little sister’s anxiety attack and totaled up the points for her anxiety medication.

“What baby?” You asked as you totaled the ‘cost’ for the pills, the nebulizer treatment, and the inhaler she needed for her asthma and wrote it on a sheet of paper to give to Laura to pass on to who ever was on points duty that day.

“When’s daddy coming home?” You nearly ran over your own foot with your rolling chair in your surprise as you looked over at your daughter.

“What did you call him?” You asked her to clarify as you pushed your chair off the side of your sneaker to roll toward her.

“Well… Negan’s my daddy, right?” She asked as she held onto the edge of the table so she could climb up on it to look at you. “He told me he’s ohana and he sleeps with us like daddy’s do… isn’t he my daddy?” You looked at her a little blankly and blinked a few times as you tried to wrap your head around what she had put together and asked.

“Well…” You said as you set your notebook and tablet on the table beside you and leaned on the exam table. “Brenna… it’s… well it’s not that simple, sweetheart.”

“But… why?” You huffed a laugh at how curious the now six year old little girl was.

“Well… umm…” You tried to come up with an answer that would make sense that contradicted her valid reasoning behind why Brenna would consider Negan as her father but nothing came out. Sure you could go with the birds and the bees but your little girl had seen Cinderella enough times to understand the concept of step-parents. You could try to explain the concept of dating but how you and Negan acted around each other would again, contradict it being a denial. In all honesty, all you could think to say was “Baby I don’t know. I have to talk to Negan about that to see.”

“Well…” She said as she sat down on the table to wait until it was time to head back to the room. “Can you tell him I want him to be my daddy? He’s a really good daddy.” You nodded your head slowly as you gave your daughter a small smile.

“I’ll tell him, sweetheart. I promise.”

——

You were sitting on your bed the next night, watching the end of Mary Poppins even though you had seen it a thousand times before and Brenna had fallen asleep at least an hour ago when Negan finally got back from his run. You glanced over at him and smiled as he crept into his room (which you had moved into shortly after the wives incident) slowly so he didn’t wake up your baby girl on the twin sized bed you had up against the king Negan already had in his room.

“How was your run?” You asked softly as he dropped his leather jacket and his red scarf on his chair. He sighed and shook his head as he laid Lucille on a different chair.

“Lost a guy.” He said as he turned down the TV volume on his way to his side of the bed. “Fucker ran from a bunch of biters straight into more of the fuckers. Didn’t have a fucking chance.”

“Idiot.” You said as you watched him strip down to his boxers. “So… um… we need to talk.” He cocked his eyebrow at you as he pulled back the blankets and got in beside you. You grabbed the TV remote, turned off the movie, and looked over at him with a sigh. “So… well…” You licked your bottom lip and shrugged as you leaned back against the head board. “She called you daddy yesterday.” You could see the range of emotions flash across his brown eyes at nearly light speed and he quickly looked between you and your daughter.

“Oh.” Was all he could say and you thanked whoever was out there for being able to have this conversation when Brenna was asleep. “Fuck.” You nodded slowly and looked away from him down at your whole world. He didn’t say anything for a long moment as he stared blankly at the side of your face so you interrupted the silence for him.

“I’m gunna take her back to the bunker.” You said as tears welled in your eyes. “It’ll be easier…”

“You’re not taking my daughter.” Your head whipped toward him so fast you actually strained a muscle in your neck. He shook his head at you and searched your eyes. “She wants a daddy, I’ll fucking step up. Long as you don’t care…”

“Negan…” You said but he shook his head.

“I know. Trust me, I know what I’m agreeing to; I know what this means. But I made you a promise. And I’m a fucking man of my word.” Your bottom lip trembled violently and he smiled as he slid across the bed toward you. “I know.”

“How are you this sweet to us?” You asked as he wrapped you in his arms. He smirked as he kissed the side of your temple.

“You must’a rattled something in my head when you fucking head-butted me, baby girl.” You barked a laugh into his shoulder and nodded.

“Your fault.” You said as you pulled back to look at him. He smiled and reached up to cup your jaw in his hand. His thumb brushed across your cheek to brush away your tears and he rested his head on the head board.

“Marry me, baby. Be my one and only. Be my ohana.” You smiled and nodded against his hand.

“Yes.” He leaned forward and gave you a chaste kiss before he pulled you into his arms. He sighed heavily as he brushed his hand up and down your spine.

“Alright, my beautiful wife. Let’s go to bed.” You smiled, nodded, and pulled away so you could scoot down into your spot for bed.

“That’s gunna take some getting used to.” You giggled as he reached over you to turn off the light.

“I would have to agree on the daddy front as well.” He said as he wrapped you in his arms and put his leg over your hip like he did every night. He smiled down at you in the faint moon light as he brushed your hair off your face and pulled it into a ponytail behind you on the pillow. “But it’ll be worth getting used to.” You nodded in agreement and gave him one more kiss before burying your face in his chest.

“Absolutely worth it.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It didn’t take long for Negan’s new title to spread around the Sanctuary; hell it didn’t even take a single day. Brenna had woken you up early as usual for breakfast and you brought her down stairs while your new husband took a shower. You resolved to talk to her yourself while you ate and the look of excitement on her face when she realized she had a daddy was one you wish you had a camera to capture forever. The second she saw him heading into the dining hall, she took off running for her daddy.

“Is it true?” She asked as he passed Lucille to Simon quickly and picked her up with a grunt when she jumped. “You wanna be my daddy?”

“Of course I do.” He said as he put her on his hip, took Lucille back, and headed over to you with an award winning smile. “Don’t you want me to?” Brenna nodded her head vigorously and with a smile, you turned back to your breakfast.

“He’s going soft, man.” Someone who was kneeling on the other side of the table said softly to the man beside him. “He’s gunna get us all killed ‘cause of that fucking kid.” You cocked your eyebrow, put your hands on the table, and lifted yourself off your chair to look down at him.

“You think so?” You asked with a tilt of your head. “I’ll tell you what. You say it to his face and not under your breath like a fucking coward and I’ll pay for your meals for a month.” The guy looked up at you in a sheer panic before his eyes darted up to Negan, who paused right next to you.

“What’s going on, baby girl?”

“Got a little bet going on.” You said as you crossed your arms on the table and waited. “I’m gunna pay for his meals for a month if this one vocalizes his opinions of our daughter and her father to you and not behind your back.”

“That so?” He asked as he set Brenna down and gently pushed her toward her chair on your other side. “Well then. Let’s fucking hear it.” The guy and his friend both shook their heads violently and you couldn’t help but nod your head. 

“You know… I was in the army.” You said as leaned on your elbows and folded your hands in front of you. You popped your thumb nail a few times and shrugged casually. “Three years in Iraq. Messy shit. Lost my leg. Should have been my life but I got lucky. Now, in case you were wondering, being a doctor an all, I watched a LOT of people get tortured and beaten to death and I mean a whole fucking shit ton in gruesome, medieval ways. I mean, we had to get information some how and sometimes people just don’t wanna cooperate when committing treason right away. I get it; completely understandable. But we got our answers or they died. Simple as that.

So I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you do yourself a fucking favor, find your Goddamn balls, and fucking speak when you’re spoken to, you traitorous piece of shit or I’ll make Negan look like a mother fucking boy scout and get the same statement out of you about my Goddamn family.” The entire dining hall was silent as the two men sat, terrified and looking back and forth between you and Negan. 

“I mean… I’d fucking listen to her.” Negan said as he gestured to you with an evil smirk on his face. “She’s fucking crazy. But… then again… I’d LOVE to see my crazy wife in action. So speak, don’t speak; I’m in different.” He lunged forward in the blink of an eye and grabbed the guys shirt so tight, you actually heard it rip. “But you made your fucking bed by talking shit about my daughter in front of my wife. You’re done either way and I will find out what you said.”

“He said you’re gunna get us killed.” The friend said quickly trying to save his own ass. “B-be-because of the kid.” You pouted and sat back down in your chair with a shrug.

“Guess my crazy gets to hide for another day. Oh….” You sat back up and looked at the friend with a forced smile. “And my bet wasn’t with you. You’re still gunna pay for your own meals.”

“Mama.” Brenna said as she pulled on your shirt. You sat back down and looked at her with a smile. “I gotta go to the girls room.”

“Alright, baby. Let’s go.” You said as you got up from the table and grabbed both of your untouched, boxes of cereal and your powdered orange juices. Negan shoved the kid toward Simon and Dwight and turned toward you.

“Keep her in the room. I won’t need you in the clinic for this one.” He said as he kissed your cheek. “Be good, little one.”

“Bye daddy.” Negan smiled at her and kissed her forehead.

“Bye baby. Go get Lilo started for us. We got some singing to do.” She nodded and cheered as she turned to run toward the door. “Walk princess!” Brenna came to a dead stop and took a sarcastically slow step forward as you shook your head and followed after her.

“Well then.” Negan said as you caught up to Brenna and gave her a gentle push out of the dining room. “It’s fucking time to deal with our resident fucking mouthpiece.”

——

“These pricks are gettin’ more and more bold every single day.” Negan sighed as he laid between your legs watching a Star Wars DVD he had found on his last run later that night. “If it’s not bullshit lip about my family, it’s bullshit about Rick the prick and his fucking community.” You nodded slowly as you ran your fingers through his dark brown and grey dappled hair. He let out a light groan when you scratched your nails across his scalp.

“Gotta stay quiet, daddy.” You whispered in his ear.

“Don’t get me riled up then, baby girl. It’s been a long… long time… unf…” You smirked as you gently bit his ear lobe and ran your tongue across it.

“Nine years.” You said as you nudged your nose against his neck. “Got you beat.”

“God damn, baby girl.” He said as he ran his hands up your thighs and slid them up into his boxers you had on behind his back. “Then what in the fucking fuck have we been waiting for?” You bent down to lightly bite at his neck at the exact moment Brenna made a slight whining noise in her sleep. You both froze to see if you were about to be caught but your daughter just rolled over and snuggled under her blanket a bit more with her back to you.

“That’s why.” You reminded him with a small giggle as you bit his ear lobe once more.

“Nope. We’re fucking fixing this. Right now.” He said as he grabbed the remote and turned the volume up one number. 

“Negan.” You said as he scooted away from you and yanked off his shirt. 

“Shh! Do you wanna wake up our daughter, do you?” You couldn’t help but smirk as he crawled over and flipped off the room light before climbing under the blankets.

“You’re a horrible influence.” He smirked as he moved his knees between your thighs and boxed you in with his arms.

“Yea because I’m the only horrible influence in this marriage.” You smiled as you scooted down the bed underneath him.

“Shut up and kiss me.” He didn’t need to be told twice. You let out a breathy moan as he quickly slid his hand up your shirt and cupped your breast in his hand.

“Gotta stay quiet, baby girl.” He whispered against your lips as he yanked your shorts down until he could pull them all the way off. “Gotta stay real, real quiet.” You gasped and arched into him as he slid his middle finger into you easily. He let out a soft grunt and closed his eyes as your walls clenched around him and tried to pull him in.

“Fuck… oh fuck.” You breathed as you wrapped your arms around his neck and bit down hard on your knuckle. “Baby, please.”

“I got you, baby girl.” He said as he pulled his finger out and slid two in while he brushed his thumb across your clit. He dipped his head down so he was right next to your ear and glanced over to make sure Brenna was still sound asleep. “Cum for me, baby girl. Cum for Daddy.” You had no idea why that turned you on as much as it did but it sent you over the edge faster than anything had in your life. Negan slapped his free hand over your mouth to silence your moan and pumped his fingers into you faster with a smile on his face.

“Good girl. Such a good fucking girl.” He muttered as he took his hand away from your mouth just long enough to push his boxers down. “Stay quiet now, baby. Hang on.” He said as he pulled his fingers out, replaced them with his impressively thick cock, and kissed you hard to hide both your moans. His fingers wrapped around your left hip and his nails dug into your skin.

“Holy fuck. Jesus, you weren’t fucking kidding.” He gasped as he rested his forehead against yours. His cock twitched in your tight pussy as you nodded your head frantically, not trusting yourself to open your mouth for a few moments.

“Negan…”

“Fuck, I know.” He said as he pulled his hips back slowly and put his hand back over your mouth. You nodded as you looked up in his eyes and reached up to grab the head board so it wouldn’t hit the wall. With zero warning, he slammed his hips forward at a bruising pace. You swore behind his hand as he moved his hand from your hip to the back of your thigh. 

With methodic movements that coincided with his thrusts, he turned your hips just right to find the sweet spot he was looking for. The moment he did, you let out a muted scream as you let go of the head board with one hand to grab his hair.

“Better stay fucking quiet baby girl.” He growled directly next to your ear as your eyes rolled back in your head and goosebumps rose on every inch of your body. “You make one more fucking sound and I’ll stop fucking this perfect tight pussy of yours…” You shook your head wildly and begged him with your eyes as your walls clenched around him. You watched his jaw clench as he ducked his head down to your shoulder and fucked you impossibly harder.

“Please.” You whispered against his palm as you began to teeter on the edge of euphoria.

“What’s that, baby girl? What do you want from Daddy, hmm?” He growled in your ear as his nails dug into the back of your thigh. “Ohh… does my gorgeous wife wanna fucking cum on her man’s cock?” You nodded against his hand and he smirked as he took one more glance at Brenna. “Then fucking cum for me.” With unbelievable reflexes, he sat up, grabbed his shirt and shoved it in your mouth as he wrapped his arm around your thigh and rubbed your clit hard and fast. He held your lower body exactly where he wanted it and continued his assault as you grabbed his arm and held on for deal life.

Your whole upper body arched off the bed sideways and your breath literally caught audibly in your throat. Every fiber of your being felt like it was dipped in an icy fire as you fell off a cliff you didn’t even know existed before that moment even at your own hands. Waves of pleasure rolled through your body as you came so hard, you momentarily forgot how to function. Negan let out a choked grunt and buried himself to the hilt in your tight pussy as he came deep inside your quivering walls.

“Holy fuck.” He gasped as he fell forward, yanked the shirt out of your mouth, and wrapped you in his arms and you took a shuttering breath in response. You couldn’t do anything other than wrap your arms around him and hold him close as he pulled up the blankets to keep you covered just in case Brenna woke up as you rode out your highs. Neither of you could come up with words as you laid with the other held tightly to your chest.

“Jesus Christ.” You whispered after at least twenty minutes. He nodded in agreement as he very carefully pulled out of you with a slight hiss.

“Damn it baby girl. That pussy is fucking tight.” You smirked and nodded as he maneuvered his body to your right side.

“Nine years and it’s never seen action like that before.”

“And that’s me being quiet.” He chuckled as he turned you into his chest. “Just imagine how good it would be if we weren’t having to be quiet.”

“Fuck, I don’t think I’d be able to handle it.” You giggled as rested your head on his arm with a smile. “Thank you for rocking my world.”

“No problem, baby girl.” He laughed as he grabbed his shirt from behind you. “That’s my job as your husband.” You giggled as he helped you sit up and get dressed so your daughter didn’t catch either of you naked in the morning. Once everything was hidden that needed to be, he turned off the tv and wrapped you in his arms like he did every night. He sighed happily as he rested his forehead against yours and closed his eyes.

“I love you, (Y/N).” He whispered as he rubbed his hand across your lower back. “I really, really love you.” It took a moment for you to realize it was actually the first time he had said it but you opened your eyes and smiled back at him.

“I love you, too, Negan.” His smile grew as he leaned forward and gave you a gentle, passionate kiss. He pulled back and cupped your jaw in his hand.

“Good night, my beautiful wife.”

“Good night, handsome husband of mine.” With one final kiss, he tucked your head under his chin, sighed happily, and both of you fell asleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Mommy?” Brenna asked as she sat in her usual chair by the window of your bedroom, reading a book.

“What’s up, B?” You glanced over at her from the surgery book you were studying and smiled as you continued writing notes.

“How come daddy gets so mad?” You glanced up at her again and then looked over at the slightly open door where you could hear Negan shouting at Simon about the run he needed to make and when he was going to make it.

“Well, Brenna. Daddy gets mad because people aren’t following the rules. And the people that aren’t following the rules are putting everyone in danger from the deadies.”

“Why are they doing that?” She asked and you set your pen down for a moment.

“Because they’re stupid, baby.” She said a soft ‘oh’ and looked away from you as tears filled her eyes.

“Mommy, are we gunna die?” Your head whipped up as she burst into tears and you nearly stabbed yourself in the thigh with your pen trying to get off the bed as Negan came running into the bedroom.

“Hey, hey!” He said as he kneeled down in front of her and pulled her into his arms. “It’s alright, B. I swear. I’m never gunna let anything happen to you or mommy…”

“I wanna go home!” She sobbed as she buried her face in his neck. You exchanged a look with Negan and sighed.

“Brenna, we’re safe here.” You tried as you put on your leg and walked over to the pair of them. “Daddy’s gunna…”

“I wanna go home…” She cried again. You sank down into the chair with tears in your eyes as Negan shushed her softly.

“Let’s lay down for a little while, what do you say? Daddy’ll push his run until tomorrow and keep you safe today.” She nodded against his throat as he stood up with her in his arms and headed over to your bed. Tears fell from your eyes and you buried your face in your hands. “(Y/N), come lay down.” You sniffled and nodded as you slowly got up from the chair and walked over to the bed; shutting your room door on the way past. He held up his arm until you scooted up against Brenna’s back and wrapped both of them in a hug. Negan waited until Brenna cried herself to sleep and looked up at you.

“We’ll take her back…”

“You’d be abandoning everything you built…”

“And if my daughter doesn’t feel fucking safe here any more then it’s fucking worth it. My promise…”

“I know.” You interrupted, breathily as you looked away from him at the top of Brenna’s head.

“OK, so we make her safe. We make all three of us fucking safe again. We have the fucking means… we’ll do it together.” He reached up and pushed on the bottom of your chin until you looked at him again. “I lost the first love of my life due to me being fucking stubborn and not fucking listening. I won’t fucking lose you two the same fucking way.” You nodded your head as tears fell from your eyes.

“OK.” You whispered. He smiled and nodded his head.

“We’ll go tonight. Think you can get everything from the room in your truck by dinner?”

“Yea, I think so but…”

“I’ll take care of food and weapons. I fucking promise you sweetheart, I got you both.”

——

“You got everything?” Negan asked as he came down the main staircase with a giant duffle on one shoulder, four of your solar panels under his arms and Lucille on his other shoulder. 

“Clothes, guitar, movies, twin mattress, books… My end is done. What do you got for me?” He smirked as he put the panels in the truck bed, heaved the duffle off his shoulder, and set it down on the tailgate of Mike’s truck.

“The fucking mother load.” He said as he pulled open the bag to reveal enough canned goods to last at least three months, at least fifty different packets of seeds to start a garden, boxes upon boxes of ammunition, a few pretty heavy duty weapons and what looked like a third of the medical supplies in your clinic. “I feel, as a parting gift after everything we have done for the ungrateful fucking scum, we deserve it.”

“Daddy, bad word!” Brenna called out from the front seat of the truck.

“Yea, baby. I know.” He laughed as he zipped the bag closed and tossed it in the back with the rest of the stuff. “Alright, time to go.”

“What, you’re just gunna up and run?” Simon sneered as he came out of the main door. “Run after you dig us into a hole…”

“You dug your mother fucking self into that hole.” Negan said as he tapped on the passenger door and gestured for Brenna to roll up the window. “You, who can’t fucking LISTEN when I fucking tell you NOT to destroy a Goddamn community we needed. You, who choose to fucking lie to my fucking face about it. You, who thinks you can run this fucking place better than I can.” He paused directly in front of his second in command and shrugged. “Go ahead, fucker. Go right on ahead. Run this mother fuck right into the ground if you want to. But I’ll be fucking damned if my wife and my daughter are here for that fucking shit.”

“You’re a fucking coward.” Simon said with a shake of his head. You and Negan both cocked your eye brows and you slowly reached into the bag for one of the hand guns. 

“Oh, I’m the fucking coward, huh?” He asked as he stared down the mustached man. Neither of them moved as their grips tightened around their weapons and at nearly the exact same moment, they both reacted. The gun shot echoed across the yard and mingled in with the pained shouts of both men. Your heart shattered and your daughter screamed as your husband collapsed to the ground and Simon’s hand flew up to his shoulder for only a moment before you sent a bullet through his throat. The sound of safeties clicking off, hammers being pulled back, and your daughter’s screams as you ran across the short expanse was lost to your ears.

“Wait! Wait!” Laura shouted as she stood between you and Negan and the rest of the Saviors that had come out behind Simon. “It’s done! Put ‘em down!” You kept your gun on her forehead as she reached out to either side of her and pushed down the guns that were pointed at you and Negan down. “He’s leaving, right?” She asked as she stared you down.

“We’re going.” You said with a short nod.

“Then just go.” She said with a short, dismissive wave of her hand. “Negan’s dead. Got bit by a biter and we saw him turn. It’s over.” You took your finger off the trigger of the gun but kept it pointed at her as you glanced down at Negan, who was holding his left thigh to stop the bleeding. He gave you a barely noticeable nod and you looked back at Laura.

“If I so much as see a glimpse of a single fucking truck follow us out of here or near my property ever, I will come back and burn this fucker to the ground with everyone in it and I will kill anyone that tries to run from the inferno. We clear?” She nodded her head and kept her hands in the air as your eyes darted over to Regina behind her. You moved your gun toward her, pulled the trigger, and instantly put your hands in the air as she collapsed to the ground with a bullet in her skull. “That was personal. It’s done now.”

“It’s done.” Laura said with a nod, knowing the animosity that ran deep between you and the woman. You gestured to Simon with your head as you slowly put your gun in the back of your jeans.

“Let him fucking turn. Final request.” She nodded again as you stepped over Negan to help him up. She took a step forward and stuck out her hand to help and Negan growled as he grabbed Lucille and got up.

“Can you drive?” You asked as you ducked under his arm. “My bike…”

“Yea. I’m good.” You nodded your head and quickly walked him over to the truck with Laura as the rest of the Saviors watched on, stunned. “You make sure you fucking take out anyone that sided with that mother fucker. They will fucking ruin you.” Laura nodded as she pulled open the drivers door and helped him sit down. Brenna slid across the seat and wrapped her arms around Negan’s neck as you pulled off his belt to use as a tourniquet. You heard Laura yell at everyone to get back inside as you tied off his leg and helped him turn on the seat.

“Buckle, B.” You said as you made sure the tourniquet would hold. “Hold on just for an hour for me, baby. That’s all…” He nodded his head as he put Lucille on the floor.

“Let’s just get the fuck out of here, baby girl. I’m a little light headed.”

——

“You know… part of me hoped I’d never come back here.” You said softly as you unpacked your bags late that night in the bunker. You huffed and grabbed the last handful of medical gauze and tape and shoved them into the already full box you already had in the bunker. “But, at the same time, part of me is glad we did. I mean… don’t get me wrong, I felt safe in the Sanctuary. 

But this… this is my controlled environment. I know nothing’s getting in that door unless I want it to. I know that we can ride out any and all storms that come our way no matter what they are. I know that my family is safe.” You sighed loudly as you finished putting away the medications you were grateful you could restock and re-stacked the boxes before turning to look around the fifty foot long by thirty foot wide by seven feet tall bunker. “I know we’re safe.” You looked over at Brenna, who was sound asleep on the bed against the wall, curled up with her childhood blanket like she used to sleep. You smiled warmly but tears still welled in your eyes. “After everything that had happened today…”

“Hey, what are you crying for?” Negan asked as he limped over to you curtesy of the gunshot wound you had patched up just in the nick of time. You shook your head as he wrapped his arms around your waist and hugged you tight.

“I just…” You gasped as you turned in his arms. He smiled down at you as he brushed his hand down your cheek.

“Hey… we made it, didn’t we?” You nodded your head and stepped toward his chest.

“I almost lost you.” You whispered as you wrapped your arms around his middle and bunched his shirt in your hands.

“I’m here, baby girl. I’m right fucking here. I swear, I’m not going any where, ever again.” You nodded against his chest as he kissed the top of your head with a sigh. “Let’s go to bed, baby girl. We’ll finishing unpacking the bags and setting up Brenna’s bed tomorrow.”

“I love you.” You said softly as you looked up at his slightly pale face.

“I love you, too, baby.”


End file.
